A Good Old Ramble

Google - Please Stop Trying to Control My Life

2012-03-01T11:29:00.000+13:00

Back in the good old days I had a cell phone and an email account and they were two very different things. The people I emailed were not necessarily people I'd call and vice versa.

Enter in the age of the Android phone. I'm finding that Google are desperately trying to match up my email contacts to my phone contacts. So friends who I've known for years have suddenly got photos of random people I met on Google Plus associated to them. It's quite disconcerting answering the phone trying to figure out which "Simon" or "Fiona" it is I'm going to be talking to. Someone I knew 5 years ago who's still in my phone or someone who I met on Google Plus last year?

Have you noticed the little notice that Google products keep popping up with?

We're changing our privacy policy and terms. This stuff matters.

The whole data mining thing has taken on new wings. The information collected from all of Google's services will be collated across multiple products. So what you write in a blog and what blogs you visit can be collated against what you search for or what sort of emails you receive. Have you actually had a look at the text ads in your gmail? They're targetted based on the contents of your email. It's horribly scary. How much does Google really know about me? In Google Plus they made sure they had the name I'm known in meat space by. With my phone they probably have a fairly good idea of where I am at all times. They know what sort of work I do and probably have a fairly good grasp on my work ethic and competency.

Never mind Facebook and their data mining. Google have it sorted and collated and associated to a real person. There is something insidious about Facebook as well but to do that post I'd have to steal an idea from someone (though she told me the idea around 3 months ago and hasn't written the post yet so I'm tempted).

Building Software for People (A Challenge to the Open Source Community)

2012-02-29T22:41:00.000+13:00

A few years ago I was having a play with Blender. To those unfamiliar with it, it's a 3d animation tool. You build up models and can then animate them (though I never did get to the animation parts - preferring instead to build some amazingly cool looking scenes instead).

There's a problem with it though. Blender, while incredibly powerful and results in some amazing results, suffers from something that I comment on from time to time. Occasionally I'll be asked about an open source equivalent of X program. Google is my friend (so long as I allow them to try and run my life and provide them with all sorts of information about me - I'll do a post on this at some point). I search for it and come up with a recommendation. More often than not though, I'll install that recommendation and within 2 minutes find myself saying those god awful words.

"It's built by nerds for nerds".

Back to Blender. Probably the most complete documentation for Blender is a tutorial called "Blender 3D: Noob to Pro". The bit which really annoyed me I think has since (and not before time) been removed. In the introduction they ranted and raved about how great the interface to Blender is and how you'll wonder why the same interface isn't used on every piece of software.

The reason isn't so foreign to most users. The problem with the interface is that:

It's counter intuitive.
It requires a great deal of memory. i.e. coming back to Blender requires trying to figure out all of those magic keys you knew at some point.

In programming, magic numbers are discouraged. If you must use numbers, assign them to variables so that they're named. For example, you never have 0.15 to represent the 15% for gst. Instead, you'd make a variable (or constant) called GST_RATE or some such thing. So every time you need to represent the GST rate in your code, it makes some sort of sense.

Magic keys are the same sort of thing. Sure, we have shortcut keys. We've always got long ways of getting there. And there are established standards for shortcuts (like Ctrl-Z - undo, Ctrl-X - cut etc.) so, while they might not be immediately intuitive, it's fairly trivial to learn more shortcut keys the more you use an application.

So recently I had a look at the program Comic Life. It's horribly basic. When I asked someone about it, the comic functionality itself is really horribly basic but kids LOVE the word art type stuff. The functionality can be replicated, and is in some ways better, in Scribus - an amazingly cool piece of open source desktop publishing software.

The problem with Scribus? It's not really made to be simple. To position an image within a frame, you can't drag the image with the mouse. Instead, you deal with x and y positions accessible via spinners. Selecting objects can be a hassle if the boundaries of objects cross. Text styles are a bit of a mission to establish - and without them, text can become quite mangled.

The results though are really amazingly cool. I could probably use it to make a comic strip. I would hesitate to recommend it as an easy tool for kids to design their own comics.

So if Scribus is around 90% of the way there and really, removing a bunch of features (or simply hiding them) should be fairly trivial, why is the FLOSS community not building loads of variations for people to use?

Scribus could be built to loads of different purposes which are easy to use rather than one application that does everything but uptake isn't great because with all that flexibility comes complexity. Open Office could be something fantastic if you could make it work in smarter ways (get rid of the character level formatting controls and allow the user to just use styles).

There's been this whole discussion on money and FLOSS. How do you make money from FLOSS? I sincerely believe it's by making the software start to work for people. People will pay for something to be developed that works intuitively for them. In which case, I think FLOSS software needs to start thinking in terms of an engine and interfaces. Here's the functionality. How that's compiled and presented in the interface is an entirely different matter. This means that the majority of the code is still a single code base. The only thing that changes is how it's presented to the user.

The GNU/Linux stack already does this with X. X-Windows sits underneath. On top of that is a Window or Compositing Manager (Metacity, Mutter, Kwin, Compiz etc.). And on top of that a desktop environment of some sort - Gnome, KDE, Xfce, Fluxbox, Enlightenment etc. In other words, the user has choice while using much the same technology and code base.

I guess, all it really needs is the theory to be tested. If you build it in a way that multiple interfaces can be used, and make it simple for the end user, how great will the uptake be?

Consumerism

2012-02-28T23:07:00.001+13:00

So Baillie commented on the last post about the "Better Living" ads. I've been thinking about this problem for a little while.

I caught the end of a documentary on TVNZ 7 (it annoys me that I simply don't have the time to watch things like Back Benches and Media 7 these days) which was talking about drinkable water. A company sold bottled water promising that a large portion (if not all) of their profits would go into providing drinkable water to those most in need.

This doesn't quite sit well with me. You're selling a bunch of single use bottles in order to help people. But those bottles, if put into a landfill, last a couple of hundred years to deteriorate.

"But we recycle", you might say. I point you to this quote:

More than 2.4 billion pounds of plastic bottles were recycled in 2008. Although the amount of plastic bottles recycled in the U.S. has grown every year since 1990, the actual recycling rate remains steady at around 27 percent.

From this site.

This is a logarithmic curve. 27% gets recycled. Of that 27%, only 27% of those get recycled. And so on and so forth.

So what needs to happen?

In India, and I hesitate to use India as a good example of environmental awareness, you have two options for drinks. You can buy a glass bottle, and drink on the premises - for which that bottle is then reused (not recycled - washed and reused) - or you can pay significantly more for a plastic bottle that you can take away with you.

I found it a little funny when I, as a tourist, was able to bring a tray of beers into a dry state in India. When I left, a great aunt was flabbergasted when I gave what was left of the tray to an Uncle. The problem? They were aluminium cans - and worth something. The fact that they were full of beer was insubstantial. As far as she was concerned, the beer had no value. The aluminium could be exchanged for cash.

A few years ago a friend and I went to a "Trailer Trash" party. We brought a swap a crate, dressed for the occasion and entered the party carrying the crate between us. I didn't quite understand the "Swap" bit in swap a crate. Instead, I threw one of the bottles in a recycling bin. It's the environmentally responsible thing to do right?

But no. The whole idea is that you return the crate, with the bottles. The bottles are reused, and in exchange, you can get another crate at a reduced rate.

You have to wonder at a society where one of the most environmentally friendly ways of consuming a beverage is only possible if you:

Buy more of that beverage.
Drink alcohol.

Add to that the sort of pressure the advertising industry is putting on us. Apparently, better living is achievable by using what are ultimately pointless products. You can store your food in the fridge in these handy disposable plastic containers! Okay - so you can use them more than once. How do they compare to something like Tupperware in terms of reuse?

I got a notice last year on my recycling bin. Apparently, though there are no clear guidelines that have been made evident to me about what you can and can't put in the recycling bin, I'm not allowed to put plastic bags in the recycling bin. They are recyclable. They can't be recycled via your recycling bin.

The bits that end up in your recycling bin, aren't always recycled. Take your mixed plastic containers such as yoghurt pots and some bottles (such as those that Primo comes in). There is no demand for recycled products of this type, so they still end up in land fills.

And besides which, it's always been: Reuse, recycle, reduce. So why don't we reuse more often? We're told that plastic deteriorates and releases dangerous chemicals.

What if we stopped using plastic? Can we not use glass? Okay - so the act of making glass results in carbon emissions. What if glass bottles were made to be more robust, such as those in India? The bottles could then be reused. Sure, products such as Coke would come in bottles that might, at times, seem a little rough. But why should that stop us from being environmentally friendly?

Reusable grocery bags bother me as well. We've gone from using disposable plastic bags to bags still made from hydrocarbons, but are less likely to rip after 1 or 2 uses. What would have been so wrong about paying perhaps $2-3 on bags made from more natural products such as cotton?

But what really annoys me. Despite the fact that I stubbornly refuse to use plastic bags. I've brought a soda stream machine so that I can have carbonated drinks without using disposable bottles. I'm quite happy with refrigerated tap water. I reuse where I can and recycle. There are:

People who seem to think that it's okay to use this crap without any regard to the world around them.
Businesses who offer you a bag for every freakin' thing.

A couple of years ago Countdown or Foodtown (I forget which) advertised that their staff would pack at least 5 items in each bag. Go down to the supermarket, and they were still packing 2 to 3 items in each bag. Their staff weren't trained. And why should they care? They're on very low wages. They've got other worries.

Could Coke make a huge grab for the market by offering concentrates of their drinks? Ethical and potentially a huge piece of the market. I doubt it'll happen. Still, it's nice to not completely rule out the possibility.

Let's quit this whole recycling buzz people. Let's reuse instead...

Advertising Gone Wrong

2012-02-27T23:40:00.001+13:00

Kids - don't read this post. Seriously. It's for adults.

This isn't the first time I've commented on inappropriate advertising. I found myself sitting next to this ad this morning - a version of it in portrait (rather than landscape) is on bus stops all over the place. I found myself feeling vaguely uncomfortable.

It's not the fact that it's targeting a very specific market. Well okay - there is a little bit of that.

If you were to replace the shirtless guy fondling kiwi fruit with a woman doing the same, would the ad not be deemed inappropriate? It turns out that the fruit store is a great pick up joint. Carry a basket around with a banana pointing up and you're sure to score! If you don't like to leave things to chance, fondle a couple of kiwi fruit while bending over.

If you really love yourself, you'll make sure if you're in this position, that you'll have a condom easily accessible. If you're likely to take advantage of such a position, make sure you advertise the fact that you're into safe sex on your clothing.

But never mind my unease at the overtly, attention seeking, shocking image. It's more the tagline - Get It On! It's not the tagline - it's the little symbol next to the tagline that REALLY bothers me. You can't really see it in that image. Here's another source for it:

New Zealand. With a condom over it. As if it were a penis. I don't know how the rest of New Zealand feels about this, but I'm a little offended by it. Who thought THAT was a good idea?

Have you noticed the number of ads that have got "regular Joe" in them?

The New Zealand Fire Service would like you to listen to drunken idiots tell you that you should go grab a kebab or burger rather than go home and cook. Cause, you know... drunken idiots are such a credible source of sage advise.

The New Zealand Transport Authority, often under fire for their advertising, have a bunch of posters around the place with comments from facebook and txt. Again, such brilliant sources!

Of course, this is what advertising does. Brand Power, which in itself is a brand, tries to create a rapport with the viewer by having one person sell multiple brands. Suddenly advertising seems to lose any sort of credibility.

This post has not been sponsored by:

Get It On - a campaign by Bro Online.co.nz, The New Zealand Aids Foundation, gayNZ.com, Durex, and the Auckland Sexual Health Service.
The New Zealand Fire Service - taking and dispensing advise from dunken people since Bob knows when.
The New Zealand Land Transport Safety Authority - txt a message now. Txt's cost $0.20 per txt. Ask the bill payer first.
Brand Power - helping you buy crap from the highest bidder.

Hmmm... I wonder if this blog could make money just for linking to those images....

Why Am I Not Writing?

2012-02-27T22:49:00.000+13:00

I was thinking about this today. You'll notice that the hit counter on the side is currently looking horribly sad. A few month's ago I had a stellar month where I had almost 1,000 hits. Now I'm just over 350.

A couple of weeks ago a friend asked why I wasn't writing so much. I'd responded that it was because I was being whingy or preachy.

"But that's pretty much what blogs are", he responded.

I'm not sure I fully agree with that. I've seen some brilliant blogs with tutorials and technical information. Even comedy. Hell, this blog was proof that blogs didn't have to be about cats. But let's face it. This blog, from it's inception, with me whinging about the quality of media and news in the country, and being disgusted by it, was always pretty whingy and preachy.

So what's changed?

I think I've lost confidence. It'll come back. The awesomeness hasn't gone. It's my confidence in that awesomeness that's on holiday.

Security in I.T.

2012-02-22T22:54:00.000+13:00

Security in the Information Technology field is an excuse to screw things up a lot of the time.

Think about it. Where should security be implemented? It's fairly well accepted, by those in the know, that once physical access has been gained, all bets are off. For example, on a Linux system, point init to be something other than upstart or init-v. Like a shell for example. On Windows, normally an installation cd will give you enough access to reset passwords. Ditto with a Mac OSX installation disk. Think you can avoid this by locking it away behind the BIOS? It's fairly trivial to reset a BIOS, or even to remove a hard drive and put it in another machine. Security in this case only slows someone down.

So the desktop is a lousy place to implement security. If someone tells you differently, they're probably trying to sell you something. I saw a comment that suggested that most businesses require their users to use encrypted hard drives. Enter in a password to be able to access anything. I don't think the figures the person quoted are anywhere near the truth, and if they are, they're frightening. It's my theory that security on the desktop is ill-conceived at best.

I was helping a school out with their iGovt account. For whatever reason, Firefox wasn't allowing them to sign in citing that it needed cookies. Stupid generic error that didn't help in the least. Anyway, the user kept getting a incorrect password being used message. So she got a temporary one, and went to set her password to what she had thought the password was. Nope. Didn't work. Instead she got a message saying "You can not use the 6 previously used passwords".

Part of the trade off of putting loads of security on is that you actually lose security. Your users start to work against you. They write down the password. Or use something based on the date (seen this one at another school that forces a weekly password change). Change the password 6 times arbitrarily just to use the password you want to use. Post it notes or stickers on the side of the monitor. If you frustrate your users, your users find ways around it.

This is security 101. I've said to people "I don't really care about security. I just want to get on with work". The number of people telling me that I really should care or think I should be impressed because they're keeping up to date with various vulnerabilities is really surprising.

I would be so much more impressed and surprised by geeks who think of the end user first.

I was at a meeting where I told the guy my background. That my job was a consequence of a passion. I've been getting a fair amount of flak about my lack of desktop skills. I haven't used Windows for a very long time and have never been a Mac OSX person. Don't get me wrong - in terms of people skills, I'm probably okay. I do tend to ignore instructions like "don't get waylaid by people" and instead try to follow a procedure i.e.

Approach the user about the problem so that I can hopefully understand what it is they're wanting. This one is really important as it is so easy to get it wrong. For example, today I got asked "Do you know how to connect something to the server?". It turns out they don't talk about networks. The network is a non-entity. It doesn't exist. Instead, everything is connected to "the server". Never mind the fact that most of what they do happens in the cloud. So get them to show me the problem. I answered "no" as this was safest at the time. I outright refused when I realised what it was they were wanting.
Get UAT. User Acceptance Testing is important. You can not be sure you've taken the right action if you haven't made sure that the user is happy.
Throughout it all, become a Buddhist monk. I am centred. The only person that exists at the time of helping someone is the person I'm helping. I am patient and more zen than thou. I think I've only almost lost it once towards the end of last year when I user was insistent that the wireless network didn't work at all even though her machine was unplugged from the network and she was surfing the net.

But in terms of desktop support, I'm more of a diagnostician. Go away, think about the problem, come up with the most likely causes, quite likely come back the next day to sort it out.

So much of what goes wrong on a user's desktop is due to security. Linux has the keyring in gnome which seems to go out of sync with the users password requiring the user to manually type in a password to do something that should be easy like connecting to a wireless network (how about making it a system connection by default or making it easy to do this when setting up the connection for the first time?). Access to printers using department codes or user codes which require the use of very specific drivers. Tying down the network to only allow a very small number of clients (killer in a 1:1 programme).

I've been called out for each and every one of those scenarios. You've got to ask what is it that they're trying to secure? If you think of security as a great big ugly footprint, then how can you reduce it? Do users have to have a rotten experience to protect data that probably doesn't need protecting? Can you instead secure just a small area?

There is one location that I have to go to every time there's a new user. It's not to provision accounts or anything, but because there's this ill-conceived sense of security the customer gets by not revealing their passwords to the users. Never mind the fact that they can go back in and find out those passwords.

Instead, the users lack confidence. They're like battered wives asking for permission for anything they do.

So, if you pride yourself on saying you follow computer security developments, you really should be asking yourself, how does this effect the user experience? At what point does more security make things less secure? Do you really understand the customer's requirements? Does the customer understand the trade off between security and usability? etc.

But the Internet in New Zealand is Pathetic!

2012-02-20T23:07:00.000+13:00

Wow! I'm sitting here watching 3 news. Every time something like this comes up I also feel I should be more surprised that I am. The story?

Stephen Fry posted on twitter his frustration with New Zealand's broadband.

For the news story? Bring on a representative from Telecom and make sure the New Zealand public know that it was all Stephen's fault. If he hadn't actually used the Internet, he wouldn't have gone over his data cap (just think - the term data cap is short for "data capture" anywhere except New Zealand). Reiterate that it was Stephen's fault, not the incredibly crappy Internet plans in New Zealand.

I'm currently paying $50 / month for 50 GB. $1 per GB. It's advertised as costing $40 / month. I could pay an extra $10 for 100GB - but that's $10 / month that I could save.

Dial up speed... you go over your data cap, you'll get throttled down to dial up speed. What the fornication!? Where else in the world would you find them using terms like "dial up speed"?

But quite apart from that, what is TV3's big interest in protecting what is essentially a crappy practise in New Zealand?

TVNZ went with Clare Curren's stating that Stephen just said what everyone here is thinking.

Volunteering

2012-02-20T22:50:00.003+13:00

I got a text on Saturday night asking if I wanted to meet up with a friend for drinks. I'd text him a couple of weeks ago asking where he'd been so I was keen.

We'd sat there catching up. This friend has always been horribly social, so he'd said "hi" to just about anyone who went by. Soon enough a girl had joined the table. A backpacker from Hong Kong. We'd got to talking and I had told her a little bit about some of my volunteer efforts.

By the end of the night, when I went to shake her hand, she'd held on to my hand, smiled at me, and told me to keep up my volunteer efforts.

Rewind to last year. At the end of the year I found myself annoyed. One of the schools (not part of the project) that I'd helped had with one hand, given someone in the same building as me a thank you gift, and on the other hand, someone else from the same school had come and asked me to do a little more work for them. No thanks involved.

Fast forward to now. They're still trying to get me to things for them whether via a guilt trip or pressure from elsewhere.

I haven't done anything as a volunteer for a while now. Okay - so I work far more hours than I'm paid for, so I still consider myself to volunteer on the project to some extent. I don't go to the One Laptop Per Child meet up these days. I still trawl the New Zealand based Linux mailing lists seeing if I might be able to help with an email here and there. So okay, it's in my blood.

I want to help. I really do.

A few years ago, a friend's mother stopped volunteering. She had worked with a bunch of organisations mainly around children. When I asked her what made her stop, she'd said it was a lack of appreciation. She'd been kicked by a horse on an outing with kids while doing one of her volunteer outings and no one had shown her any real concern. They'd sent her home. No one offered to drive her home/to the hospital/local clinic.

And hey, it's very easy to take volunteers for granted. Those that do it with a passion just always seem to be there. But it's those same ones who show the most commitment time and time again who eventually give it up because the people around them just don't seem to realise that they're just not showing any sort of appreciation for that time and commitment. Think about the loss of those passionate people... Where a bottle of wine, a six pack, a card, a bit of concern... just some sort of token of appreciation would have kept them doing what they do.

Has Canonical Lost the Plot?

2012-02-16T20:56:00.000+13:00

For those not in the know, Canonical is the commercial company behind Ubuntu. They sell services.

They've announced "Ubuntu Business Remix". You have to register to download it. This is for licensing reasons on some of the components included.

The problem I have with it though - What's the point?

Every time you have to set up a computer, you install an OS, remove the bits you don't want, install the bits you do want. What advantage does a business remix have? It doesn't include games. It's got a few bits that require registration.

What if, instead, Canonical concentrated on something like "kickstart"? Kickstart is a way of configuring an installation of RedHat for mass deployments. Throw in a directory service (ldap - basically an equivalent to Microsoft Active Directory) and you're probably really close to what a business is likely to want/need. Even though I think this is an outdated model. It has the advantage over Redhat in that the users can run EXACTLY the same system at home with all the branding and bits they feel comfortable with.

A bit of infrastructure - an Ubuntu branded PXE (Preboot eXecution Environment - booting from a network server) server. Allowing some controls on the repositories i.e. allow the users the freedom to install what they need to work in the way they're comfortable (allowing users their choice of web browser for example) while allowing some applications to be blacklisted such as Drugwars. GUI based configuration tools to be able to do some of those more business orientated things like policies.

Linux has the advantage over Windows in that it's module system is more robust i.e. you're less likely to find that your computer crashes because a driver/module is on the system that isn't needed for your system. Boot times are drastically reduced. Things are customizable to a much greater degree meaning you can work in a way you're comfortable with. Things like hardware drivers tend to get more stable, rather than less (as manufacturers lose interest in supporting order products. How many times do people buy new printers because their old one is no longer supported in a newer version of Windows?).

So hey - there's a real opportunity here for Canonical. However, I think it's in the tools, not in a remix.

The Lack of Pain

2012-02-15T22:29:00.000+13:00

Well... It happened. The third. These things do only happen in 3's right?

Yesterday (Valentines) started out really badly. I woke up late (again) and had to go and pop by a couple of schools to drop something off. Sod it. Got a taxi. Did find out that rather than the person that the sticks were intended for getting them, someone else up and took them. I've got to say I'm incredibly annoyed by it.

I suppose I should say something about the sticks. I'm now able to "supplement" the image. Rather than having to build a whole new image, I can throw packages on the stick and have them install after imaging. This should lead to faster response time in fixing bugs on the stick and gives me a much better chance of coming up with a bug free image.

One of the biggest things I've noticed is that I'm able to test at a site before imaging. This is huge! Rather than having to image and then go back and fix the problems found, I can go to site, do a little testing and fix them right there on the spot. But why wait until I'm on site to test? It's getting unmanageable doing the testing. I'm normally in such a rush to get it done that testing is minimal at best. And then, I may have changed similar files for each site - so, at the moment, potentially 10 different packages at a time. And that's always in bunches. So 4 or 5 different sets of packages. That means 50 odd packages to test each time. The time needed to test that is a lot more than I'm able to do when building an image.

So anyway - I was running around yesterday like a blue "donkey"'ed fly. Literally. My bottle of blue fountain pen ink opened in my bag and I didn't notice until it was too late.

So a new pair of jeans was in order (given that one pair got a hole in 'em from my fall the other day) and my 2nd pair were now more blue than any jeans have a right to be.

So the plus side. The ink is water soluble so those jeans and that shirt aren't wrecked as I feared. That was the third - it didn't involve any pain. Yesterday in general did cost a bit of money though. Still, if that's all out of the way... Oh. My pen broke today.

I am getting the feeling that people just aren't listening to me at the moment. That's pretty crap.

Feeling Paranoid

2012-02-13T23:58:00.001+13:00

It's been awhile... I saw a friend who I haven't seen for a few months and he was saying that I'm so seldom around that the best way for him to keep up with what's going on is to read this blog. I've got to admit to having a little crisis of self. I've been so very self-absorbed and let's face it, a blog is basically someone talking and hoping others are listening. This was all so much easier when I was just talking to myself.

I've been reading a bit of Kurt Vonnegut lately. He's definitely one of my favourite authors. Always so... real. He was incredibly good at placing a character in amongst larger events and seeing things from their perspective. To the extent where that character is the larger event. When reading something, I find that I start thinking in terms of their writing style. So I find myself thinking in small segments that allow for tangents.

It's been a few weeks since I read the last one. I'm now reading Great Expectations again. I'm also reading the picture book that is the road code. "See car. See car go. Go car, go". As soon as I can find the time, I'll be booking myself in for the test to sit my learners. Yay mo-ped! So I don't really have the style down. Still, I can at the very least use the short bits to allow for tangents...

- = -

The other day I was heading to work. I had gotten off my first bus and was walking down Queen St to my second bus.

* * *

I can't help but think of the post I did last year, A day in the life 1. I was happy then.

* * *

I've just crossed the first set of lights when I feel a twinge in my back.

"This isn't good" I think. It's getting worse. Step after step. I see a bench a few meters in front of me.

"No problem" thinks I, "get to the seat".

So I struggle on. By the time I get to the bench, I'm in agony. I've stopped breathing for the pain. I sit down and I feel a wave of pain go up my spine. I'm not getting comfortable, and nothing's clicking.

I test myself getting up. Yup. That's not going to work. Now what?

* * *

I have to remark now as to how well we as a people have detached ourselves from each other. It's not uncommon to completely lose yourself while listening to music and seeing the masses around you as nothing more than moving obstacles while walking through town.

* * *

Out with the cellphone. I organise to be picked up. It's going to be awhile though. It's the first thing in the morning. No one else at home is dressed yet. I can't get comfortable. I wonder what we did before cellphones. I find it troubling that I've had to ask the question though the answer comes to me almost immediately.

* * *

A woman comes and sits down next to me. She smiles at me. I do my best to smile back. I'm trying to take as much pressure off my back as humanly possible in which case I have my elbows up and I'm looking kind of intense and well... if I'd seen me, I'd have thought "creepy".

We do our best to ignore each other. Such is life.

* * *

My ride finally arrives. I manage to get up.... well mostly up. My back resembles a question mark. I'm not at all sure what I'm asking. Probably a whingy "Why?!". Seems a good all encompassing question. Besides which, isn't that what we spend our lives asking?

* * *

The woman sees me and a look of understanding comes to her face. I'm not intense and creepy. I'm in pain and doing my best not to pass out in pain.

* * *

In my over thinking way (I have this scene in my head of "over thinkers anonymous". My name is Nevyn and I've been thinking... and so on and so forth) I relate this chance encounter to some of the most important relationships in my life.

- = -

Anyway... so... crap back. I ended up having to take 2 days off work. That got messy. So I worked the weekend (surprise surprise). I think I'm nearing the point where I could stop working in the weekends. I've got a few things to do. Version control for starters. This is pretty high on my agenda. It's just that it's kind of a major undertaking. 71 packages in all. That's about to increase as I split a package up. I'm not sure how to handle the code for Keys to the Castle which isn't packaged. I worked pretty late on Sunday night, grabbed a taxi home and...

There's a bank up the road and given that I never carry cash, I get the taxi to drop me off there. I cross the road and "bang!". I'm on the ground. I've tripped and landed on my left side. I quickly get myself up and walk on.

I'm walking down the road when a woman asks if I have a cigarette. When I say "no" she starts yelling at me.

"You're lying! I don't care about your issues with your wife or girlfriend or something. I just need a cigarette now." and so on and so forth. Of course, she's right outside a halfway house where someone had been stabbed to death a couple of years previously.

When I get inside, I check. A hole in my jeans. I'm pretty sure my leg is going to bruise up. My elbow looks like someone's taken a cheese grater to it. After cleaning up my elbow a bit, I check my pockets. Sure enough my Android phone's screen is cracked.

- = -

So that's two...

My back isn't feeling too bad. I can at the very least walk around. I noticed today that I seem to have done something to my shoulder - probably during the fall. My thigh hurts something chronic whenever I go to sit down or get up. My elbow stings all the time. I've ordered the parts to be able to fix the phone myself from Amazon though it looks horribly complex.

So I'm waiting for the third. A kick to the nads. That little cheery on top that just makes life complete. It's Valentines day tomorrow. Anything could happen.

Actually.. there is fun to be had on Valentines day. A couple of years ago I had met a friend for a drink on Valentines. He and I had laughed at the ridiculousness of a girl having dressed up in her finest being "accompanied" (he seemed more interested in the store fronts than her) by a young lad wearing baggy jeans and a backward cap.

Oh - and for those of you going for romantic... Romance is a shared moment, a thought for each other, pleasure in each other's company. You won't find it in a bunch of flowers or chocolates.

Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean the world isn't out to get me.

If you saw me...

2012-02-03T21:39:00.001+13:00

I'm tired... oh so very tired. I've turned my mind to quality control. How can I ensure the quality of the image? I've come across a few mistakes. The funniest one is that I tested the webcam before making the image and so all of the netbooks out there have a picture of me on it. If it was on purpose I would have struck a pose. Doesn't seem such a bad idea. Fun even.

I've decided to work this weekend (surprise surprise). The aims for this weekend?

New image incorporating some of the non-Manaiakalani deployments in the same image. (Plus fix mistakes).
Find ways of fixing the mistakes found this week for deployments already out there.
Finish the functionality for Keys to the Castle such as the ability to clone the stick easily.
Come up with a quality control strategy.

That last one is interesting. The problem is that the image always goes live to the end user. I've, up till now, always just been reacting rather than being able to put processes around things. So it's finally time to put on pants (i.e. cover my butt).

And my personal life? Well... it's non-existent. It's easier not to deal with it for the moment. I find myself wanting to write 16 year old poetry (and we all know how I feel about poetry by 16 year olds).

I offer this as an example of just how horribly pathetic poetry can really be.

If You Saw Me

If you saw me struggling with money,

Would you offer to buy me a pie?

If you saw me walking,

Would you offer me a ride?

If you saw me drowning,

Would you offer a breath of air?

If you saw me on the street,

Would you offer more than "hi"?

If you insulted me,

Would you apologise?

If you cared,

Could you tell me what changed?

If I couldn't go with you,

Would you understand?

If you wanted me gone,

Would you say goodbye?

Disclaimer: I am not 16 (Have I ever been?). And this isn't quite what I would describe as "16 year old poetry". I didn't agonise over any of it... The perfect words in the perfect order... pfft.

Lack of Anything Personal

2012-01-31T11:17:00.000+13:00

You might have noticed that I'm writing about anything personal at the moment.

I've been horribly self absorbed. I'm thinking about the past. What did I miss? How could things have been different? Why are things the way they are now?

The most frustrating bit about it is that I realise just how much of an idiot I can be. I missed something... really big... Massive in fact. It was there, hitting me in the face and I just didn't realise. Actually.. it's more than that. I didn't let myself realise.

I was looking at my Chinese horoscope the other day. No, I don't take them seriously, but sometimes it's kind of fun. Anyway, I came across this. I can't fault it... At all.. it's so me.

"...these high-strung creatures need to feel loved and admired lest they start worrying incessantly."

"...the Sheep will often pull away - either physically or simply by retreating into the safe haven of its imagination."

I've got to say though - it's a little discomforting, if I were to believe this is real, that my misery is preordained.

I'm not sure it's retreating exactly. It's dwelling. Dwelling in my imagination of what might have been. And worrying? I'm sure I'm one of the world's greatest worriers. So - if you're wondering how I'm doing or why I haven't really been writing about me in the blog... well... I've retreated.

Pizza and beer?

Looking to the Future

2012-01-29T14:01:00.000+13:00

It's a Sunday and I'm back at work. I was thinking about watching some cricket today but yesterday I realised something.

Something's got to change. Something big...

A bunch of standards are changing. Mac has already made the transition. In the consumer market though, very few manufacturers have started. Asus have... for a couple of models. In fact, I now have one of those models here for the Manaiakalani project.

So these standards. BIOS (Basic Input Output System) is being replaced by UEFI (Unified Extensible Firmware Interface). As part of this, the way information is split up on a hard drive is also changing. Rather than the classic MBR (Master Boot Record), GPT (Guid Partion Table) is being used. This gets over the 2 terrabyte limit that MBR has.

What doe this mean to me? The image, as it is, isn't suitable for more modern machines. Time for trial by fire - Try to recreate the Manaiakalani image on one of these more modern machines. Ahh well.. I'm not really into cricket anyway.

Of course, with a few changes applied. It must support UEFI booting. The partition table needs to be set to the new standard. Luckily, Linux has supported UEFI since 2000. This doesn't really mean an awful lot. It means it's possible. It doesn't mean Ubuntu has been on the ball and supported it well. So I've got a bit of work to do to test it. Luckily - it's a long weekend for us in Auckland (Auckland anniversary day. When someone asked what that is, everyone in the room responded "It's just a day off". Here's a holiday that could comfortably be moved to that horribly dry period between Queen's Birthday and Labour Day). The best bit though - at some stage the new standards will be a hell of a lot more widespread. And I'll be prepared.

Smoking's Bad For Your Health

2012-01-23T01:33:00.003+13:00

Who knew?

I was waiting for a bus into work today when a guy approached me. I'd see him from the corner of my eye. He'd crossed the road and done an almost comical imitation of Robin, from the 1960's edition of Batman. That weird stance that Robin always took when Batman would say "Stand back Robin". Anyway, he'd crossed the road... or got half way before he had to "stand back".

So this guy approached me. He mumbled something about getting kicked off a bus for asking for a light. This concerns me a little too given that his next question was for a cigarette. There he was on a bus asking for a light and, let's face it, a cigarette is probably the better evil here... but given that he didn't have any, it seemed a little bit strange.

So there we go. He asks for a cigarette. I'm doing my best not to engage him. He seems horribly indignant when I in the negative to his request. "I'm tā whenua" he says. (to those not in the know, it means "I'm of this land").

I can't help but feel a sense of discomfort with this. I consider myself to be of this land too - not because of sense of ownership, but rather, it's the only home I've ever known.

Another guy comes and sits on the other side of me. He seems to have come from the same direction as the first guy. I start to get a little nervous about this whole thing.

Anyway, after saying no several more times, he starts to take off his jacket and hand it to his friend. And his bag. I'm sitting there trying to play it cool. He's not gearing up to hit me.. is he? Turns out he was just going off to the toilet.

Anyway, so I turn to his friend and say "hi". I'm figuring if this other guy is going to hit me, it'd be best to be on friendly terms with his friend. In a South African drawl, he says "He's tā whenua. How would you feel if someone came to your land?".

Again, kind of redundant.

Anyway, long story short, this South African guy says to me, "he just doesn't know how to live on the outside"...

35 years. I played dumb and asked what he went away for. Given that this is New Zealand and we have short sentences, 35 years could only mean murder.

I'm wondering at this stage whether I should be concerned for my safety. I mean, his friend was still there which meant that after absolving his bowels (do bowels feel guilt?) there's a fairly good chance that this guy would be coming back.

So I'm playing it cool - I'm just reading my book. Nothing to see here. I'm also scared as all hell.

So the lesson of the story? Smoking potentially gets you killed... Crap lesson I know.

The Final Stretch (Before the next almost immediate stretch)

2012-01-21T22:03:00.000+13:00

It's Saturday and I spent most of the day at the office. In fact, I was so frustratingly engaged that I looked at the clock and realised it was 6:30. Ergh... time to get out of there. Still, I'm in good condition (I think).

I've had to drop one or two things. The rewrite of the initial login script? Right out the window. So the first impression is still kind of crap. Still - at this stage, it's acceptable. It has to be ready for Monday.

So my frustration with today? Well, it's not the same frustration as the rest of the week. Rather, it was the fact that clonezilla's documentation isn't really kept up to date. They have so many great tools that just don't work with their current version that it's just frustrating. So I was trying to figure out how to customize it. I needed python installed, which isn't installed as part of their installation. Still, I found instructions on how to customize it to my needs! Brilliant!

Except... apparently those instructions are only for including your own script. It doesn't seem to want to include the packages you've installed. Python is right out the window. "No problem" thinks I. Instead, chroot into the environment. Only apt doesn't want to work.... so that's no good. Next option... Ummm... build a clonezilla environment from scratch? Yak shaving!

What is yak shaving you might ask? You want to shave your yak. Only when you get started, you realise the clippers you have are blunt. So you need to sharpen them. Only your whetstone is no damn good. So you go about trying to find a whetstone. Only you can't afford one so you start thinking about how to make your own. So you go to the beach to collect some sand only to realise that it'd turn out so much better if you used aluminium oxide. So you get some aluminium and then start trying to think of the best way to oxidise it.... etc. and so on and so forth... when a pair of scissors probably would have done.

There's a great description of it here. In fact, if you ever hear me mumble "gloves" it's a reference to that story.

So next plan... Remove the dependency. i.e. don't use python. It's messy, it means I have to rewrite a bunch of stuff... but probably the best option for now. So there we go. I'm back to using the lowest common denominator - BASH. So it took me until around 6:30 to figure that out and then to start investigating how to go about it. i.e. where to put the scripts.

I was anticipating doing a late night to get those scripts rewritten. I've decided against it. In fact, I'm getting right out old. Despite my reputation as someone who gets hardly any sleep, I've been going to bed by 8 most nights. I'm just so tired.

So tomorrow - Sunday. Rewrite those scripts and basically get the Keys to the Castle (KttC) developed. After that, sort out my BIOS issues... It's going to be a fun day tomorrow.

You know how I'm always saying things like "That's massive!"? Well... a couple of guys at work asked me if I needed some help. Massive. Absolutely fornicating massive.

Next weekend (and the weekend after) I'm essentially homeless... anyone up for doing not much someplace? I wonder if there's any cricket on during those weekends...

F.B.I. Charging New Zealanders?

2012-01-20T12:52:00.001+13:00

My attention was just brought to this article.

It's an interesting read. 4 of the 7 people in the article were arrested in New Zealand.

What I found more interesting though, was reading up on Kim Schmitz (a.k.a. Kim Dotcom and Kimble), the founder of Megaupload, on wikipedia. He's German born but got granted permanent residency in 2010.

But, the 2nd paragraph in the wikipedia has this to say about him:

Prior to becoming an entrepreneur, Schmitz gained notoriety as a computer criminal who was convicted of credit card fraud, hacking, insider trading, and embezzlement.

He became a permanent resident in New Zealand in 2010.... and he's got a portfolio that reads like the background of a really bad character. A tiny bit more digging shows up this article, to which the reason for this oddity is that his convictions were wiped clean under a German "Clean Slate" law. There's also the money bit.

Supposedly he brought $10,000,000 worth of government bonds and donated generously to the Christchurch earthquake fund.

The question is, do our immigration laws not attempt to filter out this sort of thing? And while I don't have a problem personally with MegaUpload (Actually... I do have this thing about profiting from piracy but that's a whole other kettle of fish), it seems to me that immigration laws are supposed to prevent this sort of person residing here.... aren't they?

Just a little side note - this sets a really bad precedent. The idea that a mechanism can be targeted is shocking. The site itself, and the service it provides, isn't in itself illegal. Hard drive manufacturers aren't being sued because their products are used to store pirated material. That would be ridiculous... Perhaps a more tempered approach is in order?

SOPA/PIPA

2012-01-20T08:11:00.019+13:00

To my great discredit, I haven't really been keeping track of what's been going on in the douchey politics that seems to accumulate around the issues of copyright and intellectual property like vegetable matter around the propellers of a docked boat.

The impression I get is that there's a plan to be able to block sites on a global scale.

A really quick read on wikipedia says that SOPA stands for "Stop Online Pirarcy Act" and PIPA, "Protect IP Act". They seem quite similar in that they're looking to block "rogue" sites. I can't help but feel some discomfort about this. Given that people have had take down notices issued for having videos of their kids dancing to a particular song on youtube and the whole idea of fair use in the form of reference has gone right out the window.

And then there's Disney... I hadn't quite realised the full extent of what they've done with extending the terms of copyright. It's interesting to note that Disney was built on public domain works. Robin Hood, Snow White, Aladdin (of course being taken from Arabian Nights aka One Thousand and One Nights - tried reading it once. I found the female bashing to be horribly off putting and so never finished it), Cinderella etc. In the meantime, they're fighting to keep as much out of public domain as humanly possible.

Which ever way you look at it, there's something really ugly happening around Intellectual Property....

I saw this today and thought I would share it.

Shoes Don't Make You Any "Gooder"

2012-01-17T18:52:00.002+13:00

Is anyone else annoyed by "The Athlete's Foot" ads?

They're currently advertising school shoes and finish up the ad in a great big climatic "They fit really good".

I usually find myself wanting to correct them. "It's well you idiot. They fit really well".

And when you then put that against the people who complain that the kids of whatever school "don't even have shoes"... Well it turns out shoes don't make you any "gooder".

And let's be honest. If we could get away without wearing shoes, a lot of us would chose to.

Smoking Again - Part II

2012-01-16T12:46:00.001+13:00

I just thought I'd write a little something about how I'm feeling about this.

I've noticed that I'm drinking a hell of a lot more water and yet my lips are still cracked. Time for a little chapstick.

Also, I'm noticing the stink a hell of a lot more. In my depressed state, I didn't really think the stink would bother me at all. I'll write a bit more on that at some stage if I can figure out how to write about it... Of course, this doesn't at all help with my self esteem.

As for my energy levels, I'm not really noticing a difference. I'm walking a lot at the moment (using exercise as an excuse but also trying my best not to have to borrow any money thus trying to spend less - I've now officially got "sod all" in my account in which case, I think I've failed on that aim). The main hassle with this is the fact that I'm feeling almost constantly dehydrated despite how much I'm drinking.

A couple of kids saw me the other day and said to me "you smell like smoke". What do you say? "Don't try this at home kids"? Really... don't try it. It's freakin' awful and once you start you form habits around it and those habits become integral to how you operate making quitting troublesome...

You don't have to stink and suffer from a dry mouth/cracked lips. Because really.... what else does smoking do for me? That sounds like something straight out of Allen Carr's books...

About those books: Some really good points but a horribly repetitive read. I'd say follow the instructions until you're really just feeling that's enough of this bollocks and jump to the last chapter. Otherwise, if you're anything like me, you'll get distracted by the fact that the book has become really incredibly boring.

Oh and no - I didn't read them for this attempt. I read it a few years ago. I had quit for a few months. I don't think I was ready. I think I am now but really do desperately need to find some way of taking breaks where I'm thinking about the code or the next step or how to get around a particular problem.

Sunday

2012-01-15T12:24:00.000+13:00

It's now Sunday and I'm back in the office. Beginning of the year - new image to be made. Deployment method to be sorted out. Things that hopefully make my life just a little easier this year.

So what's changing. I feel like I've talked about it all before. It's stuff that I've wanted to do, been meaning to do for a while.

The upgrade mechanism.

It hasn't been broken exactly... I originally wrote it in bash. It's intent was to make the upgrade process less obtrusive. I'd suggest this would be something that most businesses could use if running Ubuntu on their desktops. It's a system process, so it starts on it's own regardless of the user's credentials.

It's now been completely rewritten in python. This has proved a little trickier than I thought. It turns out that the python-apt libraries in lucid are woefully out of date. So it uses a combination of python-apt and subprocess calls. At some point I want to update those libraries to something more recent and rewrite it so that it's using as few subprocess calls as possible.

So here's what it does. It updates the index files. It then goes through a blacklist and uninstalls anything that's on that blacklist. It then goes through a priority list. This is a precaution for slow connections. It's beneficial to be able to tell the system to install a couple of vital packages before any others. Then it fetches packages. It's important for the fetch process to be split off from the installation process as downloading packages can take a hellishly long time and can be interrupted without fear of breaking the packaging system. And finally, it installs the packages.

The blacklist also has a package that just provides "conflicts" for each of the packages on the blacklist. This means that if a user shouldn't be allowed to install a package, if it is installed, it'll uninstall it and if they try to install it, the packaging system will just give them an error.

The system also now features a lock. So the system can not be shut down or rebooted without fear that it will interrupt something that will break the packaging system. This is a little bit risky in that it could, for some unexpected reason, not unlock so this is something I'm going to have to watch closely. If it works as it should though, it should make my life a hell of a lot easier.

Due to this, I've had to change the flashplugin-installer package. The flashplugin-installer provided by Ubuntu deletes any file that has been downloaded and then tries to download it as part of the installation process. On a slow connection, this can make an upgrade process, which should only take a couple of minutes, take an hour or more. So the package (called flashplugin-installer-resume) doesn't delete the downloaded file and allows resuming of the download.

Initial Login

This script is typically only run once. It sets up the system for the first user. That's pretty much it. It had a couple of bugs. It wasn't setting up permissions properly. So that's now been fixed. And that last post? The one about how to change the defaults for the Ubuntu Netbook Launcher... Well the real intent was to include an exclusion for maximus.

Maximus is a program that maximizes windows when they first open. It causes chaos with some programs.... such as the initial login script. The script's windows would lose focus. In UNE (Ubuntu Netbook Edition) this makes the window completely disappear except for a small icon in the top left. Not the best first impression of the interface or my efforts.

So that's what's new with the image. The next big thing on the agenda is the imaging process. Can it be altered to make use of larger hard drives? Can provisions be put on there to use the same image with EFI-BIOSes (which need a different bootloader). Network configuration, given the nature of Pre-Shared Keys, needs to go in there as well. It needs to happen seamlessly. Last year it was a month or so of chasing down kids and their netbooks to put the key on there and test that they work. This year, if the key is thrown on during imaging (and thus re-imaging), hopefully it'll mean a hell of a lot less manual intervention.

And after that, during the next holidays, I'm hoping to do something with the network manager applet. It's a very cool tool for connecting to networks BUT has way too many disruptive options. For example, the kids are able to make their own ad-hoc networks. This hasn't been used for anything good thus far and so, removing the option from the applet should make this a little less disruptive.

At some stage, I'd also be able to tell nm-applet that one network is the equivalent of another network - so go for the strongest of those two and treat them as if they have the same ssid rather than what was last connected to. Given that the kids take the netbooks home and connect to the Tamaki Learning Net network, the next day they find that the connection is slow. The problem is that a weak signal for TLN can still be seen within the school, so the applet connects them to TLN taking it as a preference.

So that's where I'm at at the moment. About to build the new image and then start on the deployment method... The question is, what other little issues am I going to see this year? And what are the smart ways of solving these issues?

I have been having discussions about learning opportunities vs. convenience. These are kind of at odds with each other. The netbooks must be better than a book - which they aren't if learning time is lost trying to fix problems.

Have you heard of Raspberry Pi? I, like everyone else, want to get my hands on a couple of these to have a play. The problem with it though is it's intent. It's not really meant to be an educational tool in that it isn't intended to help teach reading/writing/math. Rather, it's meant to be used to teach computer sciences - thus it's an educational tool... And I think here in lies my issue with the debate around learning opportunities. What sort of opportunities are we looking at?

A geek nowadays could be someone who knows how to get a 2 column layout in a Google document rather than someone who can open up a terminal and bash away at fixing various issues... So the learning to learn is probably a lot more important than trying to teach people not to be mystified by the shell.

Customizing Ubuntu 10.04 UNE - part 1

2012-01-14T15:29:00.003+13:00

I've decided that I'm in a very .... odd position. There doesn't seem to be that much documentation on how to customize Ubuntu for mass-deployments as I'm doing. So I thought I'd take a bit of time to document some of the more funky bits that I've found.

So here goes - Setting GConf Defaults for Ubuntu Netbook Edition.

There's loads of information out there for doing things like making your default gnome session look and mostly behave like Ubuntu Netbook edition but nothing on how to change the defaults. Want users to use Chromium as their browser rather than Firefox?

Make a file in /usr/share/gconf/une/default called "21_une-gconf-extended" or something. It must start with a 2 digit number that's greater than 20 and end in an underscore (otherwise the defaults in 20_une-gconf-default take precedence).

In that file, type in your keys. For example, I wanted to change just about everything for the favourites tab. Let's face it, "Ubuntu Software Center" is probably better discovered rather than presented. The kids use gmail so evolution needs not be there etc.

So, for mine, I've put the following into that file:

/apps/netbook-launcher/favorites/favorites_list [chromium-browser, yelp]
/apps/netbook-launcher/favorites/chromium-browser/type application
/apps/netbook-launcher/favorites/chromium-browser/desktop_file
/apps/netbook-launcher/favorites/yelp/type application
/apps/netbook-launcher/favorites/yelp/desktop_file yelp.desktop

Now.. The reason I'm bothering to document this? Because logging out and logging back in doesn't do any good (oh my!). Instead it gets really frustrating really quickly. I finally figured it out. There's a step needed to make it update an xml file which is where it REALLY reads this stuff from.

In a terminal, type in the following:

update-gconf-defaults --source --source /usr/share/gconf/une/default --destination /var/lib/gconf/une.default

There's a chance you might not see the changes. Personally I just logged off, logged in a terminal (Ctrl-F1) and removed my ~/.gconf directory. Log back in and hopefully, with a little luck, you'll see what you're expecting to see.

Oh, and if you want to be all draconian and not allow the user to customize the settings for themselves.... just change the word "default" to "mandatory" in all occurrences up there.

How's that for putting notes somewhere I'll always find 'em?...

Smoking Again

2012-01-13T15:48:00.005+13:00

No good excuse really. 'Nuff said.

Also...

My shirt is hanging loosely on me but I am still feeling fat.

Describe your day in 13 words or less...

Stalking...

2012-01-13T10:01:00.002+13:00

Part of what's wrong with me at the moment is that I'm feeling like a stalker.

I've just been having a look at some old emails trying to figure out what I've missed and realised I said something about this last year - trying to attract someone's attention in increasingly pathetic ways (and feeling helpless to stop). Anyway, tinted windows makes me a bit of a voyeur. I'm finding myself gazing out the window with the excuse that I need to feel part of the outside world at large rather than in a walled off fish tank.

The truth - I feel ever increasingly cut off from the world at large. Between work and sleep and trying to get some sort of semblance of ... normality to my life, it just hasn't left anything for a life. This is always a huge problem for me. I have problems connecting with people.

I went to the pub last night as I saw a few familiar faces as I passed - it'd be rude not to stop by. While it was nice catching up with old friends, I realise just how ... different I always was from that lot. There were probably 2 or 3 people I genuinely liked hanging out with and they're all gone.

Well not all gone... there's one left. Of course, that just leaves me feeling like a stalker...

Presciption

2012-01-11T09:00:00.000+13:00

I spoke to Baillie last night. She sent me this:

Stick it on the wall. If symptoms persist, come be miserable with me (Bob knows, misery loves company).

Still in a Funk

2012-01-09T19:19:00.000+13:00

I'm still in a hell of a funk. Kind of put a damper to my holiday. I wasn't my normal get up and help and make the best of every situation self. I'm sure there were at least a couple of times where Baillie just wanted to hit me. Today, my first day on the premises for work (truth be told I'll probably only ever be there during school holidays), I found myself distracted and restless by 2pm.

The day started out a little strangely too. One of the, what I would refer to as, "long beards" was driving a bus. It was odd being able to great the bus driver by first name. What I mean by long beard is those guys who have been in the computer industry for years and years. They know things about computers that I couldn't dream of comprehending.

And of course, all of us computer people know that this happens.

If you couldn't do what you do now, what would you do?
Answer: Exactly I'm doing. I lack imagination.

Computer people always have some sense of an end game or they'd like to try something different. They'd like to meet different people. Be something else. I remember a time in my life where flipping burgers seemed more right though I hadn't quite gotten into computers at the time. I was talking to someone who was made redundant and when asking him who he'd contacted (he has a bit of a reputation in which case, it should be a trivial matter for him to get a job) he replied that he was looking around first to see if there was anything else he wanted to do.

It's the ones who love it who normally go looking. Computers have this really bad tendency to just kind of take over your life. For me, I suspect I make it take over my life as a form of avoidance. Escapism as bad as any drug. Whenever I find myself standing there sulking thinking to myself "What the fornication was all that about?!", I soon find myself exhibiting less than social behaviours and my head is soon buried in some computer monitor somewhere.

Life goes on but everything changes... of course... the more it changes, the more it stays the same.

Dear Old Google...

2012-01-06T01:11:00.000+13:00

When I left Google+ I didn't think I'd be writing another one of these sorts of posts. Kind of a "stop being dicks" post. But here goes.

Dear Google,

I get that Google+ just isn't for me as I am in support of the use of aliases. I don't get why you insist on changing my emailing experience. I like the look of it. I'm used to the feel of it. It doesn't suck.

Instead you keep telling me you're going to switch me to an all new interface. When I revert back you keep on asking me why and provide me with a link where presumably I should be able to tell you why I think it's rubbish... But then it doesn't lead anywhere. Sticking your fingers in your ears saying "la la la" while also saying "I'm listening" isn't winning you any friends.

The buttons no longer look like buttons. The screen layout changes dependent on where the mouse is. I can't get the side panel to act in any sort of sane way.

Now I know you know entirely too much about me, but you seem to have completely lost the plot when it comes to interface design. In fact, what would be really good is if you stopped trying to tell me what I liked and instead, asked.

Hell, if you'd asked, loads of people would have told you that it's the clean simple design that we like best about the client. It's not full of crap. It's easy to understand. It doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out.

Perhaps it's time I gave up on the web client and instead went to a more traditional way of computing. Perhaps this is a really good indication that cloud computing could just be reinforcing the control of entities such as Google...

Google... stop being dicks.

Happy New Year Everyone

2012-01-02T15:15:00.000+13:00

Well let's see. I'm down in the 'naki visiting Ian and Baillie. New Years Eve was fairly uneventful.

I got an email yesterday about the blog. That was interesting. It made me think that perhaps I should state that this blog is horribly self-centered. When I'm writing, I'm writing things from my perspective. How I perceive things. And there are things that I don't post. Loads of posts that get deleted. Quite often that's because I think it'll effect the people around me.

So what needs to be taken from this? The fact that we can be ships in the night at times. What I perceive might be completely different from the intent. And sometimes, yes - there's a bit of transference. Some of the things that I find most frustrating are the things that don't end up on the blog.

Me Me Me...

Anyway, enough about me. How do you feel about me? Let's face it. Blogs aren't a great way to converse.

So this time last year... I was talking about going to Micronesia. That never happened. I've quit smoking. I've got a job rather than volunteering. Actually, a lot of my volunteer efforts have since ceased. I haven't spent my Saturday doing testing for One Laptop Per Child for a while now though I'd like to get back into it. That can wait until after I've gotten myself settled.

Although I had to move back with the parents, I haven't unpacked - I've only really unpacked enough to live on. When Baillie told me I'd need to bring some old clothes with me I had to go hunting around boxes. So a bit to do to get settled. Find a flat, deposit, stress... Furniture and the like to sort out.

I've agreed to finally get my drivers license. Yep. 32 and I don't drive. I've never really had the inclination. I did a little bit of driving back in 2000. My flatmate would get me to drive her car home so that she could drive to parties but not have to go back and collect the car the following day. I realised I was a bit of an idiot. 50km/h feels kind of slow. So why put up with the frustration? Public transport sorts out that problem (though does add a few new frustrations). I have to say though - I really am going to miss the time free to read a little. I mean, time I don't have to specifically put away. It's already there!

I was talking about the idea of "trading posts". I've got some solid plans for this this year. I'm doing up breads. Unfortunately the proofing periods are quite long so this is probably going to be a weekend thing. I've gotten a couple of people interested. They've been talking about relishes and the like. The more I think about it, the more I realise this really is a brilliant idea. Just think about the amount of food wasted. Fruit or veges in the garden for example. And we've become a disposable society - we throw away EVERYTHING. Do we really need to throw away bottles for example? Could they not be reused? Especially glass goods which are easy to sterilize.

With the new job I've been looking at an estimate of my budget for the year. I realised I'm actually not going to have the excess of funds I was hoping for. A lot of expenditure is going to be based on the fact that I haven't had the funds to spend thus a few things have built up - IRD bills, a flat and deposit on a flat etc. This is kind of a good realisation. It means I'm not going to get sucked up in the "plenty of money" trap and spend spend spend. Instead, hopefully I'll be looking for ways to make things a bit more affordable. Trading food for example.

Oh - I got a new cellphone! I've finally jumped on the Android band wagon with a HTC Dream. It's actually a really cool phone - I'll post my notes about updating the OS at some point. I've only really just gotten it going fully today. There's loads of inconsistent and incomplete information out there. Go on - join the dork side. A fully functioning adequate phone (although, I've been having problems getting Angry Birds to work) for only $200...

Anyway - new year. No great expectations for it. Happy new year everyone.

Pretty Successful Regardless

2011-12-25T23:23:00.000+13:00

Well another year down. I woke up this morning with an asthma attack. I haven't had one in a wee while. Nowadays it seems to be a sign of exhaustion. I saw myself in the mirror half way through today and realised that I hadn't shaved and that my eyes were just looking plain awful.

I left my cell phone somewhere the other day so I'm without that for the time being. I did want to send a text to a friend who shares her birthday with the common Christian solstice celebration but that didn't happen.

Anyway - so the food. The chicken was a little bit lacking... It could have done with a slightly stronger citrus flavour. The pizza dough came up perfectly! So I guess it not feeling right was just me being a stress bunny. Those who had the pavlova seemed to like it despite the fact that middle had dropped on all of them. The choice of toppings seemed to go down a treat. The brandy snap baskets took me AGES - cooking two at a time. While being a little thicker than I'd like, they were still brilliant. Right texture, real snap to them.

So I did end up dropping a couple of things. I didn't offer a kiwi fruit option for the pavlova. This was more because I was sick and tired so figured I could drop a couple of the small things. I only did one meat dish (Indian style grilled chicken). One type of pizza. The mushroom and blue cheese is never quite as popular as the caramelised onion, spinach and feta anyway. I didn't mash any potatoes. I was thinking about adding chocolates - made from the failed truffle attempts from last week - and perhaps even friands but they were the first things to be dropped. They're just fiddly.

As far as solstice feasts go, that wasn't at all bad. I had 9 people come through for a meal and 1 who didn't have anything to eat (except one of the pavlovas). So pretty good numbers too.

But enough of that. I guess what I really wanted to post about isn't so much the meal but more about the people I care about. Christmas always strikes me as a little bit weird. A lot of the people I care about simply aren't around. They're off with family or ... well... living their lives. I'd like to think those people know who they are - the ones I would like to wish a happy solstice to and miss on the day. The truth is, with my awkwardness and shyness, I'm not sure those people really do know who they are. Still - that's me all over. Doubting things...

Anyway - Happy solstice all!

Just Not My Year

2011-12-24T23:46:00.000+13:00

I managed to delay cooking until today. I did try doing truffles last weekend though that was disastrous. They're still sitting in the fridge waiting for me to hide them in chocolates.

Anyway, so this year... all my prep work. I made my bread today. I actually started it yesterday afternoon, proofed it for 24 hours, did something else, proofed for a further 2 hours, shaped it, proofed for another 2 hours. Unfortunately all of that proofing wasn't as successful as I'd have hoped. In places where it was supposed to double in size, it didn't. So while the texture and taste are all pretty much on par (a slight yeast taste to it but nothing significant), the size of the loafs are just kind of sad. Pretty much a textbook case of the yeast wasn't activated properly.

The pavlovas... well... There's a huge gap between the crust and the gooey inside.

Oh - the brandy snaps. I started making them from a recipe off the Internet. It turns out you need ground ginger. I had taken it for granted that I would have some around after my ginger beer efforts earlier in the year. I'm not sure if I just ran out or left it when I moved but sure enough. No ginger. Unfortunately I didn't do this until the evening so no chance of saving them.

Even the pizza dough, which I've made loads of times before isn't feeling quite right. This isn't a huge disaster. I could make it tomorrow. it only needs around 3-4 hours proofing.

So yeah... it's just not my year.

Actually... Baillie was telling me off (again) the other day. We've got quite different cooking styles. Normally (I haven't this year) I would read through a recipe 3 or 4 times and then go away and make the dish only really remembering quantities in relationship to each other eg. equal amounts butter and flour, liquids to texture etc. When I'm on, I'm really on.

Baillie however is what I would describe as a baker. She likes to know quantities. She tells me off when I use measurements like "A touch too much salt".

She was telling me off about the truffles. I was saying that I just couldn't get the tempering right. Then came the questions such as "Do you have a confectionery thermometer?". I wouldn't know what to do with one if I did have one.

So while Baillie's consistent... my solstice feast is a little sad. Whoops. Still - I've a chance to turn it all around tomorrow... Time to get some sleep.

The School Worker's Curse

2011-12-23T18:39:00.001+13:00

End of the year. I've gotten by relatively well. I had two lost holidays from it. But it's hit... Again.

Yesterday, in preparation of the solstice feast, I decided to clean the pantry. Bad idea. Ever been into an Indian household's pantry? It's full of interesting spices - most of which will never be used. Double ups the spices that are used quite a bit (like Tumeric - I think I found a travel pack, the every day stash, a jar containing quite a quantity, and 2 bags full on top of all that).

Most of the jars and things aren't labelled so I ended up smelling my way through a lot of it. By the evening my nose had given up. That was it. My immune system had kicked it up a gear.

So the school worker's curse? Kids make brilliant petri dishes for all sorts of interesting illnesses. If you get a sickness that makes its way through the classroom, by the time it's gotten around the whole class, it's normally mutated enough for your immunity to not be effective anymore.

But it's not just that. It's also the exhaustion. You push yourself. There are all sorts of sacrifices that people make. Sleep is the least of it. The emotional strain is huge as well. For me, it was also a social life.

So it's no wonder that a lot of people who work at schools, for their first couple of years, end up spending their holidays in bed.

So a solstice feast to prepare and me being sick as a sick thing (hedgehog?). It's going to be a great solstice celebration.

And seeing as the school didn't acknowledge it, I've resigned from the school. I'm now working for another company and will be contracted out to the schools. This was something that really just needed to happen. So next year, rather than being a teacher aide, I'm going back to being an Information Systems person.

Things that make you go Ha!

2011-12-22T23:21:00.000+13:00

I just thought I'd follow up on Baillie's "Things that make me happy" post.

I just came across this:

There's a whole series of them! I love it when people just burst out laughing.

I love it even more when pranks go terribly wrong such as here:

Solstice

2011-12-22T15:32:00.002+13:00

It's solstice people! Happy Solstice!

This day you need not buy presents or do anything special except perhaps spare a thought for the fact that it's the longest day (southern hemisphere) of the year. I always thought it a great day to get drunk.

Oh and thanks to my old employers. The bottle of Whisky really is greatly appreciated. It's going to be a jolly solstice! Now... if only were Dave around... Tomorrow perhaps..

Fail

2011-12-22T15:26:00.001+13:00

Speaking of how incredibly dumb the lack of customer service is:

I went to book some tickets for my holiday to Waitara. Go to the Intercity site, look for seats on the particular days. You used to be able to grab a booking number, then go to the retail office and pay for it.

Not anymore. Instead, you have two options. Credit card or POLi.

What's POLi you ask?

POLi stands for "Pay ONLIne". It's an Australian company. How does it work? They require you to download something, install it on your Windows operating system and then you can make the payment. It's 2011 (A couple of weeks away from 2012) people! The world is becoming more and more browser agnostic (although, it should be noted that Google services seems to complain if you're not using Google Chrome). It should already be OS agnostic where online services are concerned. What the "fornication"?!?

As a consumer, I'm more likely to trust to the standards (SSL) rather than trusting some random software which some hedge company, such as POLi, wants to install on my computer.

The really amazingly stupid bit is that companies such as "Intercity Coachlines" are using this service. I reckon there should be a list of shame for all the customers of POLi. This is not how you treat your customers.

Hint - if the front page of your site says something like "Pay with POLi in 5 Simple Steps", it doesn't matter how easy those steps are... there's "fornicat"ing 5 of 'em!

The interesting bit is this is what I've been on my high horse about. What is the aim of the site? It's to make it easy for their customers to make bookings for their services. Meanwhile, they've somehow been convinced that they need POLi's way of doing things for things to be "secure". Never mind the fact that the rest of the world doesn't require such silly practices. But more importantly, it's at a point where it's no longer easier for the customer. It's decidedly difficult. That is a classic fail. Get rid of the damn nerds! Work with the nerds who work to your aims. Period.

Oh and geeks - work with people. Try and get out of your geeky shoes and think about it from the perspective of your audience.

The True Meaning of Christmas

2011-12-20T22:54:00.008+13:00

Oh here we go. Some claptrap about the birth of Christ? (sorry Christians). Yeah... I'm not terribly Christian besides which, Christianity is a fairly young religion. It has roots elsewhere. Good will to all men? Naff. If you're not showing goodwill the entire year round you're missing the point. Presents? Nope. Who needs more crap.

So what is the meaning of "Christmas"? I was saying to my mother last just how many celebrations there are on Solstice (I'm purposely not saying Winter Solstice given that I'm in the southern hemisphere). I ended up reading through the Hindu celebration - which funnily enough is now in the middle of January. This is due to the changes in calendar. A friend of mine had gone to India to work and had said that simply printing calendars was a lucrative and full time business given the different calendars in India. Anyway, we were reading up on it in wikipedia and it turns out we were in India at one stage during the celebration. And funnily Christmas wasn't a big deal for that trip (we were in England). Rather, it's what we term "kite day" that I remember from that trip. It was a competitive sport. You'd do your best to cut down other people's kites using your glass infused string (don't try flying kites without gloves). It turned out, at the tender age of 6, I was crap at flying 'em. Still, I could help repair kites.

Anyway, that's beside the point. The Hindus have celebrated a Solstice festival since... well who can remember? (at this point, we would have to remember that the Hindus have the oldest written texts). And just before you accuse me of pushing Hinduism, remember, the Maori have a winter solstice celebration celebrated in June called Maruaroa o Takurua.

So what is Christmas really about? It's a time of hope. The worst of winter is all over. Solstice marks the shortest (and longest for the summer solstice) day of the year. So for winter solstice, people would bring evergreens into the house (like pine) and decorate them as an indication that the worst was over and things were going to get better.

Think in terms of survival. Spring, you'd plant your crops. You'd probably get a few crops through summer. Come winter though, with the snow covering the ground, food was sparse. The only things you'd have to eat are the things you stored away in the cellar. Come solstice, you'd know spring was on its way and you'd have the opportunity to grow food again.

So solstice marks seasonal holidays based upon the celestial calendar which was all about survival.

Nowadays I would like to think that we're a little beyond just survival and thus, solstice has very little meaning. Rather, it's simply a chance to celebrate...

So what's Christmas about? Nothing in particular... it's just an excuse to get together with friends and family to celebrate.

Movie Tickets

2011-12-20T19:12:00.001+13:00

Hooray! Drunk again. Blog post idea. Got and need things.

2 x Movie tickets. Got one last year. Got another this year. Anyone want to go to the movies with me? My shout.

Desperately need rosemary for Xmas. Anyone know where I can steal some from? I'm loathe to buy it.

The Present

2011-12-19T13:54:00.003+13:00

It's that time of year again...

Actually, I think that's completely the wrong attitude. At a certain time of year everyone fills out the malls buying loads of crap for people and then complain that they just don't have enough money.

What if, instead, you were to do away with presents for events. If for birthdays, you spared a little time. The same for solstice celebrations.

Instead, you could buy things for people when you thought of them. I did that the other day. I was out shopping for myself (kind of for the kids - I found some wireless mice going horribly cheaply so went to buy some as presents next year) and saw something that reminded me of someone.

This leads into one of my biggest frustrations. One of those things I can't seem to shake.

I gave it to that someone who's insisting on not opening it until Christmas day. This could mean 1 of 2 things. Either they don't want me to see their reaction (which could mean 1 of 2 things) or they are placing some importance on the gift (which could mean multiple things).

Bad enough contemplating what it means yet alone what each of the possibilities means. Life is decidedly complicated. And to think, I've never been especially good at chess, yet, in life, I'm always thinking a couple of moves ahead yet still being surprised. It's like I don't really live in the present.

Anyway, given that the present (no, not that present) was an off the cuff thing, I'm wondering if perhaps I should have put a little more effort in. Ahh well... at the very least it's not perfume (the gift that says you stink).

Blog Ideas

2011-12-17T20:01:00.002+13:00

I was on the phone to Baillie last night. I was getting drunk on Baillies (the irony did escape me though I was slurring pretty early on).

A friend and I started carrying a pad around with us when we'd start drinking. We were always convinced that we had brilliant ideas when we were drunk and if we only remembered them... As it is, we came up with some pretty cool t-shirt designs.

So it was a bit like that last night. We talked about the service industry - how you can't count on ever getting service these days. Remember when petrol stations were called service stations? Z energy have started making noises about bringing some level of service back to petrol stations.

When I was growing up the department store Farmers had a huge building in town. A multi-story building. I remember the toilets. Outside the toilets there was an area where you could sit down and wait.

As a teen, I occasionally ended up sitting outside of changing rooms while feigning interest in some girl or another's clothing choice. They used to have seats! That's all gone as well.

Shopping is no longer the experience it once was. Farmers in town is a rather sad affair these days. The other day I had gone in and found that I had to ring a bell and wait for someone to open the door to use the changing rooms. I had also gone to Hallensteins - they'd seemed surprised when I'd said I'd already tried the clothes on. And Rebel Sports, while looking for sun glasses (I'm starting to wonder about the whole sun glasses thing. Why is it somehow acceptable to try them on in horrible lighting?) I'd asked one of the staff for an opinion. He didn't even try to be convincing.

New Zealanders really need to start complaining. We need to be more demanding. A workmate was saying that her local kebab place had become kind of crap (I have to wonder why kebab places can't seem to get it right - as customers, we don't want to see raw disgusting looking meat on the spits. Americanised, overlit, computerised tills don't impress us - thinking about your decor and having it pokey with atmosphere is a win. Sauce is just that - it really shouldn't make up the majourity of the kebab. We'd much rather pay a little bit more and have lamb we can taste rather than that flavourless pressed crap. We'd much rather pay a little bit more and have a meal rather than having the portions be pathetically small). She hasn't complained yet. I had a laugh with her and told her "she's more kiwi than she thinks".

I was buying my daily sandwich at the bakery across from work. I ALWAYS refuse a plastic bag. A friend was with me and said to me "I don't get why people refuse the bag. It's already made so they're not saving the environment at all".

That's that classic "I can't make a change" attitude. If enough people refuse plastic bags then demand goes down and less of the bags are produced as a result. Or that's the hope anyway. And then there's the whole voting thing. The bit about "wasting" a vote. Actually - I shouldn't really talk about that. The results of the referendum annoyed me to no end. If we were to change our voting system, most people would go with First Pass the Post?!

Anyway, the reason we don't get any sort of service? It's because we let companies and people walk all over us. We don't complain. We don't believe we can make a change. And given the results of that referendum, I'm wondering if we actively put ourselves in that position.

I complained to a big chain of pizza stores. I had assumed that other people would have as well. It turns out, mine was the first. Given the complaint though, the pizza store in question has improved greatly and always seem just a little busier every time I go there. They can't improve if they don't know what they're doing wrong.

And bollocks to Baillies counter point the last time - that people are idiots. Sod it - if enough people complain about stuff they think is wrong, perhaps things would improve. We'd start to get treated well. We'd get some sense of service. It'd be nice if people actually cared.

I wasn't terribly impressed when Starbucks seemed to have lost my order (despite having taken the money for that order) and for my 10 minutes wait offered up the coffee I had ordered. The sad bit is that I didn't complain. I grumpily took my coffee as any further delays would have made me late for a meeting.

So even when people know they're doing something wrong, they're not making amends. It's not their fault. Obviously. And we're not holding them accountable. It's definitely time to do something...

Oh - and the original point of this post - that's the only bit I can remember today for a post from last nights conversation. Oh well. Given that I'm about ready for a holiday, chances are I'll be drunk again coming up with ideas for further blog posts in no time.

When Things are New

2011-12-12T09:27:00.001+13:00

I was just thinking about that whole sitcom situation where the husband doesn't notice when his wife has done something with her hair.....

The thing is, if it feels like the first time every time you look at someone... you kind of notice something different but it's not obvious what it is.

Terribly embarrassing...

Tastes Like Medicine

2011-12-11T18:58:00.000+13:00

I was saying to someone at work just how weird I've always found cola. Every other soft drink seems to have a fruit base, but as a kid I started to wonder what flavour cola was.

We didn't have the Internet back then. If you wanted to find out information on this sort of stuff... well you were well out of luck. Anyway, it was brought at a pub quiz a few years ago. Created in chemist as a snake oil. i.e. something to cure all of your ills. Headaches, stomach aches etc.

Being the over thinker that I am, I started thinking about the various children's medicines that are cherry flavoured. Thereafter, anything cherry flavoured tasted like medicine.

But cola, really does taste like medicine. Hmm.... cherry cola....

The Makings of a Short Story

2011-12-10T21:02:00.000+13:00

Last year I had this idea for a short story. Sort of an alternative interpretation on the whole Santa Claus myth.

What if, instead of a jolly fat guy who comes down your chimney and leaves presents, it was a nasty character who broke and entered? A whole village scared of this one night of the year where this character would enter their homes, steal their biscuits and milk, dismember people etc. Stockings on the mantel would be designed to confuse him (had he already dismembered people?). A tree with bright lights on it would dazzle him and eventually make him go away.

The following morning there'd be celebrations. Those who were still alive were still alive!

Anyway, never happened. Feel free to steal the idea.

Oh - and this is my 150th blog post.

Potential

2011-12-08T23:09:00.003+13:00

I was in a classroom today where the kids were exclaiming

"Whoa! You can do anything!"

I was drawing a picture of Santa from scratch in GIMP (mainly using the smudge tool).

The funny bit is, they're right. I can do absolutely freckin' anything.

When I was growing up, I had started to teach myself to knit. I eventually had to get help as I was missing something. My sisters were taught to knit whereas, being the only male child, I found myself wanting to be involved. It wasn't deemed proper for a male to learn such a feminine skill. So I nicked a couple of needles and a ball of wool (I'd be fairly clever here and made my own ball of wool so that no one would notice - essentially only taking a bit of a ball). I'd watch closely trying to figure out the movements. Eventually someone saw what I was doing and taught me.

I've never been particularly good at knitting. I find it therapeutic. It's the perfect activity for sitting in a hospital room with someone.

So I was thinking about that. Sure, I hadn't been able to figure it out on my own by watching other people as I was trying to do (bear in mind I was probably only around 6 at the time). And that got me thinking about me using the smudge tool in GIMP to draw Santa Claus.

I brought a risk board the other day (don't get excited. I've since parted with it in a personal cause - i.e. under valuing it in the name of good will during the silly season) and was thinking about me hanging out with art students back when I was at Polytechnic (M.I.T.). We'd meet up once a week and play risk.

Some of those ex art students are still my best friends. We used to sit around finding pictures on the Internet to draw. Normally we'd sit there criticizing our own work. They were okay but not great. I'm sure I've still got some of those drawings somewhere. I was never happy with them but then, who has to be? I mean, it's not the result that matters right? It's this fun little activity. Sitting there working on something until you feel it's time to abandon it.

So anyway - my mission for this weekend. Go and buy some art pencils, find a pad (or buy one) and have a play. Perhaps even attempt to do some drawings of the staff photo (which I got today). Prove to myself that I am capable of crap loads of things and that variety is the spice of life.

Hell - perhaps even come up with something really interesting for the secret Santa this year. I'm told I'm only allowed to spend $5 (like hell that's gonna happen. Sorry those at Pt. England. I hate limits. I tend to just spend on what I think is a great gift. Last year's cost $35 but I still maintain was a brilliant gift). Actually.... I'm thinking bollocks to the secret Santa. I might buy small gifts (if I can find things that are appropriate) for the people I really appreciate there (even if they've never rubbed my legs - inside joke...).

Just Over It

2011-12-08T15:52:00.003+13:00

I'm in a hell of a sulk. After last night (yes, it was reactionary, and no, it had absolutely nothing to do with running into people from high school) I'm just feeling over it. 3 Xmas work do's down. Only another couple left. I'm not even all that enthused about the day the Christians stole.

It was a few weeks before Christmas,
And all through the land,
Advertising elves,
Kept dealing a bad hand.
The jolly old fat man, was hanged from the gallows with care.
While dances of saviours, sent images of fear.
Then with a ring and a chime, the mail arrived,
Bringing letters from IRD, the unscrupulous swine.
With an almighty groan, And a rolling of eyes,
Dreams of a full lunch, suddenly went dead.
With holidays ahead, and the people all gone,
It was time again to brace, for loneliness ahead.
With seasons greetings, delivered with dread,
You've got to wonder, why we don't fear it instead.
And with that I leave you, before I disappear out of sight,
Happy Saturnalia to all, and to all a good 7 nights.

That's enough of that... So I'm not really looking forward to the holidays. The lack of money (limiting holiday options), the amount of work that needs to be done, the lack of people being around and the deteriorating relationships...

Someone did say to me that I've got a whole 17 days (how depressing is that?) to get out of my funk in time for Xmas lunch. Of course, I still have to cook it - I probably will enjoy that bit if I'm not trying to scramble around for ingredients and can instead do a horribly efficient shopping trip (last year I managed to get a list, price it all before getting there and do the shopping in the middle of the night avoiding the rush).

Anyone got a big rock I could hide under?

Sometimes It'd Be Easier Not To Care

2011-12-08T00:34:00.000+13:00

I'm probably not talking about you. But really... sometimes, in some circumstances, it'd just be easier not to.

Actually, I keep playing over in my mind bumping into someone from high school who I barely knew. Only this time, rather than trying to be polite, it comes out as:

"Look, I'm sure you're a really nice person, but I just really would rather not take a trip down memory lane."

Yep. Easier.

What Animal Are You?

2011-12-06T17:11:00.001+13:00

I just had a really quick passing conversation with someone. She asked about the work do and I replied "I really just need to get out with a bunch of geeks or a bunch of people who don't know what I do". I followed up with "When you have a room full of elephant's, no one notices THE elephant in the room".

Anyway, in her interesting way, she came up with "I'm always the purple cow. No one notices the brown ones. But the purple ones... Wow!"

I'm sure there are other animals... the ostrich? In the corner, head in sand, not being noticed? Comment.... go on... if you don't comment, this post just becomes a form of self gratification and there's a word for that..

Computers in the Classroom

2011-12-06T16:22:00.001+13:00

I know - I'm not a professional development person. But there are some things which just seem so obvious now. So I thought I'd share these bits.

If you're talking about security, you need to be absolutely clear as to what you're securing and why you're securing it. It must be justified, not just a default position in a school. This is because security takes away from user experience and the aim is to learn, not to take loads of time to get to a point where you're working. You're not working in Fort Knox. If you have a decent backup strategy in place then the most you'll lose is a days work.

Technology is a wonderful opportunity to give your students a voice. If you're looking at things in much the same way as you were i.e. the kids have an exercise book book which they write in and show you, then you're missing a huge opportunity. Giving the kids a voice means that they're suddenly interacting with the world at large. Others can comment and for the most part, you'll find that those comments will be positive and encourage further learning. It's easy enough to put checks in place i.e. allow teachers to vet comments before they appear.

You're not trying to train secretaries. Rather, with the rate of change, you're teaching how to learn and adapt. Which also means you must be able to learn and adapt. Watch out for phrases like "I can't learn that!". The more you open yourself to learning new things, the easier you're likely to find it, the more you'll be able to help your kids. I know there's a temptation to do the whole take study notes thing. Don't. I know it can be hard to remember the steps. But then you shouldn't need to. With a well designed interface it should be obvious. Look for cues on the screen. Try to find logical steps. Some things are always in the same places - i.e. save, open, new are almost always under "File".

Computers should be fun! They should engage learning, not be a great big chore. This means that you're probably going to have to accept that kids are going to interact with each other. And some of that might even be negative. The great thing about computers though - it's fairly easy for harassed kids to collect evidence of someone picking on them. Always provide some way of taking screen shots.

If things aren't working the way that you need to be working, then change it. I really do wonder as to how Windows has maintained a dominant position on the desktop when they can't even get the start up right. If you've got time to have a coffee while waiting for something to start up and then time to chat when you log in, there's something wrong going on. In other words, if you can, own it. If you can't, look at alternative platforms. Android is being ported to x86 platforms (i.e. normal commodity PC's) and there's Linux in all it's flavours. Look at the options rather than accepting that this is the computing experience you're stuck with. It's the experience rather than the platform that's important.

If you pride yourself on teaching your kids how to use X branded word processor / spreadsheet, you're missing the whole point. You're not there to market X brand. Get that idea out of your head. There have to be reasons for teaching it. And if that reason is "It's what they'll use when they get into the workplace", you're missing the point. We all know that things would have changed by the time they're in the workplace. All you're really doing is reinforcing the market position of X brand rather than having your kids take charge and do something useful instead. In other words, if you have branding around the walls, you're probably doing it wrong. It's about the kids.

If we're talking about literacy and reading, then getting the kids to give feedback on each other's work is brilliant! Bring on critical thinking. When they start to assess, they tend to find the same mistakes in their own work and are more prepared to correct it.

If you're using a computer lab, don't. Integrate them into the classroom. Go for 1/5 at least. So a class of 30 - have at least 6 machines around the room. Get them creating. It doesn't have to be writing. Animations (I've been showing off what can be accomplished with programming in scratch in terms of animation) is just a different voice. It's still a voice. Something the kids can be incredibly proud of.

If you do have a computer lab, then start using it differently. They get plenty of time in the classroom to do literacy. Being able to create documents with pink elephants (i.e. colourful text and the like) just isn't useful and lacks any sort of engagement. Explore what else is on there.

If the computers are locked down, then insist on an admin password so that you can explore and see what's out there. If the powers that be won't give you an admin password, look for cloud based solutions. Without an admin password, this could potentially be a problem - if they, for example, have ordained that you have to use a particular browser which doesn't work with that particular cloud solution. Basically, kick up a fuss. This isn't about your support guys. It's about the kids. Basically, own it.

There are more ways to input information than just keyboards. Cameras and microphones are engaging and can be used to put them into different environments (i.e. have them actually in a scene around the space programme or running away from dinosaurs).

Basically - think about ways computers can be used. If you don't like something, insist that it gets changed. If you lack the nerds to do it, find the nerd groups in the area - look for the words LUG, python etc. They're all over the place. Talk to other teachers and put in an appeal from as many of you as humanly possible. Programmers, for the most part, are just looking for that next great idea.

Ha! A much less depressing (though does have me on my high horse) post!

Greetings from the Depths

2011-12-06T00:00:00.002+13:00

Well here I am. From the bottom of my great big low. I even had to take a sanity day today.

The last couple of days has resulted in me having real difficulty in getting out of bed. Not the "Oh I really should get up but just don't feel like it" difficulty but more the "Oh god... I just can't deal with it today" sort of difficulty. We're talking about 2pm before hunger eventually has me up cooking something nasty from the freezer like hash browns or something of that ilk.

It's been awhile since I've had to take a day off for depression. Entirely necessary this time around though. I've been feeling shaky. I'll wake up from having fallen asleep somewhere (the couch, the bus etc.) and I'll be shaking like a Parkinsons sufferer. It'll take me a few minutes to get myself back in to normal working order. In other words, my nerves are frayed.

So what's troubling me? I think I've said it before - it's a thousand small things. A feeling that absolutely nothing is going right. Of course, this is all perspective. And much of it is self-fulfilling. If you're feeling down, then relationships tend to suffer.

Speaking on the whole relationship thing:

I went out last week. On the Friday night. After the work function. A couple of people went into town. I decided to bum a ride. It was a weird night. It felt odd being able to walk into places without any hassle whatsoever. Granted, I was dressed to impress. Toward the end of the night I had ended up sitting next to some random girl. We got to talking and by the end of it she even had a nickname - "Devil's Advocate" (Hint: She's a smoker). She was flirting something chronic. Which was brilliant!

The only thing is, while it should have been this great big ego boost, that wasn't what I took away from it. What I ended up taking away from the whole experience is that the relationships I care about most seem to be slipping away from me. This pretty much explains my dreams at the moment. Feeling powerless while whatever object of desire moves away from me. And like I said, this is very likely self-fulfilling. This could be a definition of depression.

And I guess you've all figured out that doing desktop support is going to ... upset me a little. It's just one of those things. You've got to keep a level head, and really, it isn't that hard keeping people happy, but really is kind of soul killing. Why you ask? You spend your time trying to fix other people's mistakes rather than making your own. On the other hand, if it means I can solve my accommodation issue (and IRD issue and Xmas issue and holiday issue), then perhaps it is worth it. I so do hate having to make decisions based on money though.

There's also the task of throwing computers at problems. Imagine this - you encounter a school which seems to be training secretaries. The Internet is somewhere you can maybe find a bit of information on World War II but otherwise, is completely useless. There's no unified I.T. strategy. The school can not afford a full time computer teacher and see the expense to be in hardware, not in training. If the teachers already know how to use a word processor, then why would you have to pay for training?

I came across one of these schools. My first thought was to laugh and get nervous. It looked very much the same as when I went to school (although we had Acorn Archimedes machines for some strange reason). What's worse-their hardware choices have me slapping my forehead. Hint to those not in the know: Buy your computer monitor separately and don't skimp on it. It will probably last you a good 3 computers or so so it's worthwhile spending a little bit more money on it and get something big'ish. If you're looking at less (and I would recommend perhaps spending 3 times that much) than $200 for your monitor, you're looking in the wrong ball park.

So my instinct is to grab them by the shoulders and shake them yelling "Spend the money on PD, not more computers!". Without the teaching, the computers are pretty little word processors. Perhaps I could try and slip a few ideas in there slowly and get them thinking about the possibilities. Oh which reminds me... If you have some time to kill, check out this site.

The holidays are coming up and I'm fretting the idea that I won't see a bunch of people during that time. It's the same distressing feeling as I had last year - only a little worse as I now know and care about everyone all that much more. Holidays do seem a little bitter sweet. With so little money I don't think I can afford a holiday and with 9 schools on for next year, I think there's going to be a hell of a lot of auditing and the like going on. So I don't really anticipate having that much of a holiday. The right phone number or a cuddle from the right person would probably make this not quite so bad.

Oh and I'm a little disappointed with AuckLUG - they're having their end of year event but have chosen a venue with very little information available (it's apparently Korean - no idea what the prices are like), haven't catered to different diets (i.e. vegetarian/gluten free etc.) and requires RSVP - which given the nature of the group, and their reluctance to RSVP, means that half of their potential attendees are unlikely to go along.

So yeah... generally miserable. Personal life is next to non-existent. Work life is going to be quite different next year (think less time with the kids). Family life has never been great.

The Deep Dark Secret of the Information Technology World

2011-12-03T17:55:00.002+13:00

How many of you know the big dark secret about the I.T. industry?

None of us, and I mean none of us, ever imagine ourselves as desktop support people. It's kind of where you've got to start out. As for me, I think it's one of the best ways of getting feedback on what's not working well.

It's a mine field of issues though.

User fault... yeah that's a pain but you can deal with those.

What if it's a problem with the Operating System? And what if the vendors don't want to acknowledge the problem? This happens a hell of a lot more frequently than you'd expect. This is one of the biggest arguments for open source software. Someone can fix it and release it.

And other hardware? Something along the lines of a photocopier/printer? At this point you're probably looking at support contracts - so the cost isn't in the initial purchase of a piece of hardware, but rather, in the support contract.

Some support can be fun. An issue that no one else has been able to solve. Something that takes a day to trace everything back and talk to various people to get a few ideas and trying to think outside the box. A bit like playing "House MD" only with computers.

But for the most part, no one enjoys doing desktop support.

You might get the impression from sitcoms that it's the users that trouble us.

There's a little bit of that. It's not that we don't relate to you well - it's more to do with perspective. In terms of "Oh my god! Things just aren't going right!", a desktop machine is really small beans. It's not like it's an Internet server serving up millions of pages a minute. So when someone is flapping their arms about, ranting and raving about how vital something is, your geek is normally trying to concentrate and figure out what is going wrong and if there's some way of negotiating the mine field that is support in order to make it work.

And generally, people aren't nice when you're trying to fix things. They're stressing you out. They're loitering asking how long it's going to take to fix. You're not a person - you're a geek who's just being difficult.

Once you've fixed things, you cease to exist in a lot of cases. You wouldn't have been needed if things were going right. The best you can do is smile, be cheery, carry on.

What I find really interesting though, is the number of people who seem to think that desktop support is all I.T. is about.

You've got to wonder why so many people do it. Not surprisingly, the I.T. trade is full of people who have realised there's money to be made. In fact, I'd say that's the majourity of people. I remember when I first went to Unitec to get into computers. In one of my classes we went around the room and stated why we wanted to get into computers.

Number one: Money/Security.

There was no number two. I was the only one who was there because I actually kind of found computers fun and wanted to do all sorts of interesting things on them. There's a good chance that I secretly wanted to make computer games. The course back then was "Business Computing". There was no such thing as a purely all things computer like course. So even the course had a money basis to it.

So A LOT of people go and do the papers, pass, get a desktop support job and that's them. They're set for life. These people don't like what they do. They get paid fairly well for it though. They're not the types who get bored and want to create things. They normally have a bunch of qualifications under their belt. You too can buy a book, memorise as much of it as possible and pay a couple of hundred dollars to get qualified.

For others it's a fallback. Their plans haven't panned out. Would-be computer game designers who didn't really know where to start. The burnt out programmers. The sick of pulling cables network guys (normally through attics and under buildings and mind the cat skeleton).

Anyway, it seems I've unwittingly ended up in desktop support. Let this nightmare begin...

Amendment:
Just to clarify, this isn't an indication of what I'm doing now. I am really happy to support something I've put together. I especially like it when I can figure out ways of making it work all the better (thus working with kids) - it really is not a bad way of figuring out what's going wrong. Supporting different OSes and different bits of closed source software and dealing with different vendors... boo!

Xmas Work Functions

2011-12-03T10:42:00.004+13:00

The seasons only really begun. I had my first Christmas work do yesterday. I wasn't really in the mood for it.

I'm really feeling the nerd bit. I REALLY hate being referred to as "geek" in the classrooms. One of the teachers at another school uses "expert" instead. Others use technician. None of them are great. Geek is terrible though.

The word geek is horribly dismissive. It's usually meant to say "I'm not that interested in what you're saying and am not going to attempt to understand it".

It's like the pizza delivery girl. I only really see her for around 2 minutes every 2 or 3 weeks. So she's the pizza delivery girl. Someone who I remember but don't know anything about. She's there to do a job

So I expressed this to someone last night. She looked at me and said "I think it's in your head". Well yes. Isn't that kind of the point? When you're making someone feel welcome, it's not a very concrete thing. You're attempting to put them in a positive frame of mind. It's all in their head.

I was talking to a kid at school yesterday. We have chats regularly. Normally I'm trying to get him to do something. He doesn't really get all that engaged until we get into some sort of conversation. So we're talking and he says to me: "You're the hardest adult to crack Mister".

It turns out he was referring to the fact that I have an evil tendency to deflect. I'm guarded. So I showed him the blog - incredibly quickly. I wasn't looking for him to read it - just to know that I do have some sort of outlet for not deflecting. He scanned it incredibly quickly and picked up on the nerd thing.

"Yeah mister. People call me a nerd all the time. It doesn't feel great".

"So what are you going to do about it?".

"I'm going to be rich and laugh at them because nerds earn more money".

So what can be taken from this? We're not actually claiming the words (geek/nerd) back. Or not effectively at least. That isolation is still felt. I'm concerned that he sees money as a solution there. And he's upset enough by it to want to do something but hasn't realised that those same people he wants to make feel bad are the same people he's going to have to live with and deal with on a daily basis.

But then... The people who hurt you are the ones you let hurt you. The ones who's opinion of you matters. So I could decide not to take offense. By... deflecting perhaps.

But that's no good either. I end up being awkward. Struggling with some social interactions. Being a nerd. Not feeling great at Xmas work functions.

How do most nerds avoid this? They have another life. People who see them as something other than geek. Unfortunately... I threw everything I had into the project. My social life is non-existent. And next year looks like it's going to be just as bad.

Last night I found myself texting. I had sat for 1/2 an hour with a conversation happening over me. i.e. I was between two people having a conversation before pulling out my cellphone. It got worse when I had gone to the toilet and returned only to find that I didn't have a seat anymore. It did give me an excuse to move around. I was feeling awkward about where I ended up. I've been avoiding one of those people who I am often offended by (Of course, I'm only offended because I care). It very much is in my head. It's just any social interaction with her at the moment results in an "Oookay". Very much a "You're weird". Essentially "geek" incognito. It's a little worse than that. There's a very dismissive "you're a geek" tone to her at the moment if I go even slightly outside of computers.

As far as work functions go, this wasn't bad. I've been to much much worse. The worse one was when I had to call out to the door men to kick me out as some bitter old guy had me by the collar and was just about to punch my lights out. I still, to this day (8 years later), have not figured out what this guy's problem with me was. It was mortifying having to explain myself on the following Monday - why I was one of those kicked out (I didn't want anything happening to the guy as I didn't know what it was that I may have done to cause offense and it was just easier me going).

So yeah. A Xmas work function. I think I've got another 2 for the year. Here's hoping that was the worst of it.

Entering a Low

2011-11-30T17:57:00.006+13:00

Being manic means there are highs and lows. All of last week was a high. However, a low hit me yesterday. Like being hit in the stomach with a brick. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to roll up into a ball somewhere and sleep. Drowsiness is often a symptom (and sometimes a cause) of stress for me.

Anything can set things off. A hit to the head (Monday), feeling like I'm being marginalised (I'm really not just a nerd. Tuesday), not being able to fix a problem as quickly as I'd hope (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday), not having anything nearing stimulating conversation (Tuesday/Wednesday), feeling like I've failed (I've now gotten a bit tougher on some of the older kids about what they see me about - i.e. they all know how to check the password to their wireless connection and waiting for me to do it for them is just plain lazy - especially when they could be asking each other), being broke (it's pay day and I've just realised I've got around $10 left for drinks for 2 Xmas work functions after paying back the money I borrowed last fortnight and doing my final 2 weeks for the flat and accounting for transport for the next 2 weeks etc.), realising I have more work than time (I really want to go away to New Plymouth for a week during the holidays except that I know I have craploads of work to do in the month that the holidays last for - which I haven't been doing as I'm burnt out - and I don't know if I can afford it. Outlook is grim.), people using the name that I don't use just to annoy me (most of last week and this week).

So there are always reasons around to be down. It's all self pity. I get that. There are loads of other things that could upset me: The uplifted kids or those that probably should be. The social problems which no one has any real solutions to. The fact that Barnados came knocking on my door yesterday wanting regular donations to help with these sorts of problems. But then, this is my self pity. My depression.

The nerd thing - I think what I'm really missing is my old friends. The pub culture. Where I wasn't Nevyn the nerd but rather, Nevyn, the guy everyone knew. A bit like an episode of Cheers. Nerd was just an occupation. It wasn't used as a description of what I am. I'd walk into the pub and would have my choice of group to join.

Today was the volunteers morning tea at one of the schools. I think I wrote about it last year - The Whole Village. This year I turned up late. I had a meeting at another school and was pleased it ended 1/2 an hour earlier than expected so I could go. The problem though - I found myself standing around alone. This often happens. I just didn't really feel part of any group. I'm paid so I'm not a volunteer. I'm not paid for what I do thus I kind of still am a volunteer.

This isn't something new at this school. In fact, I'd guess every school has it to some extent. If you're:

Not a teacher.
Don't belong with a team

You're an other. You don't really fit in. You're there just as much as they are but you're not part of their group/team. Your participation in these things is more a charity rather than you belonging. Furthermore, you miss all sorts of details because often announcements of what's going on happen during "staff meetings" (which are mainly for teaching staff - as you'd expect. Most (all) of the non-teaching staff don't go to these meetings. So me finding out about the Xmas work do, for example, was someone pointing out a menu on the photocopier).

So that's me for the moment. Lowly little nerd whose probably seen as greedy given that pay is often a cause of complaint and with more work on next year than I know what to do with and very few friends around to make this all feel a little less ... daunting.

Welcome to a low. Population: Me.

Possibilities

2011-11-29T21:04:00.000+13:00

Sometimes I think the most exciting this in the world is a blank piece of paper. It's got the chance to fly, to contain just about any information under the sun, to have a drawing on it etc.

So that last post - define exciting. It's possibilities. There was the potential of a post. A possibility.

This month I've been writing. And writing. And writing. I don't think I've ever written quite so much in my life. For every post that ended up being published, there were 3 that didn't make it. Possibilities. Tangents that could have gone somewhere - even might have had I carried on - but ultimately got rejected.

Just think - the possibilities of what you might have found out. The perspective I might have imparted.

The kids - when they've made a movie or written a story, discovered something new (today I got some little boys interested in tessellations after having shown them some of M. C. Esher's work - they've got netbooks and here I'm showing them how to cut and tape bits of paper together in order to make their own template for a tessellation), found possibilities for themselves.

So what makes a person exciting? Possibilities.

Define Exciting

2011-11-29T19:18:00.002+13:00

Comment... Discuss...

The Christmas Menu

2011-11-26T23:06:00.002+13:00

Not quite December yet and I'm already thinking about the Christmas menu. Of course, the tradition has been taking a bit of a weird turn. We don't celebrate a Christmas so much as anything but. So we come up with other terms for it. Saturnalia (Although I tend to celebrate Saturnalia on the 23rd of December though the 17th is probably more apt). The day of the jolly fat "breaking and entering" man. The day the pubs are closed etc.

It's a bit of a game. I think it's just a case of everyone being a little over Christmas. I don't really do the whole family thing. Rather, I do something for a few friends - collect up the strays, have a great big meal, watch movies, fall asleep on the couch etc. The family can decide on their engagement with it all. Which normally means they'll eat at the very least. It's all very easy. I think it'd be quite different if we had kids around. That invitation is being done on Monday hopefully.

So, this is how things are looking so far in terms of a menu:

Snacks

Roasted Nuts
Chilli, olive oil, parsley, garlic and parmesan bread (planning on actually making the bread this year).

Meats

Indian style grilled chicken (my favourite dish as a kid)
Honey Soy chicken? (Little effort. More variety)
Possibly a herb crusted lamb

Vegetarian

A spinach, feta and caramelized onion pizza.
A mushroom and blue cheese pizza.

Sides

Rosemary Potatoes.
Beans fried in butter.
Possibly mashed potatoes.

Dessert

Pavlova (individual serves?) with the choice of a kiwifruit puree, passionfruit or strawberry coulis.
Brandi snaps with berries and custard.

I'm trying to make sure that just about everything is home cooked this year. So for the brandi snaps, I'll probably end up making baskets out of them and make them at home. So yeah - much more cooking time needed this year. Come the day of red suits, seeing a table set out with all of this stuff should be really horribly satisfying.

I guess all that needs to be done now is to find out who's coming... Oh and try out the few things I'm not that confident in cooking (pavlova and bread).

The Night Before Election Day

2011-11-25T23:03:00.000+13:00

It's the night before election day,
and on the bus,
a couple of English men,
asked who I was voting for.

Yeah - not going to be able to keep that up. Weirdest thing. One was going National because he reckons "they can do it". The other, the Maori party, because "they're honest". Me, the Green's because I don't think we can afford National again, Labour are going in a direction I really don't like and the Green's are the most likely, in my opinion, to have a positive effect on New Zealand.

This is one of those things that annoys me about elections. We don't tend to think in terms of the big picture. Loads of people think they have to vote for Labour or National because anything else is a wasted vote. But that's one of the reasons we got rid of "First Past The Post" as a voting system. It didn't allow, in any way, for smaller parties to influence things. Yes, I realise, this can be a bad thing. Winston Peters holding the government to ransom is rotten. What I don't get is why both parties didn't just decide to leave NZ First as independents. i.e. why do they need them in their coalition? In which case, that particular problem is the fault of the two main parties as it is the small party that instigated the problem.

So what is tomorrow going to bring? Earlier this year I went to NetHui - a brilliant conference that had a presentation by some people from the "World Internet Project". In particular, people from AUT. They do research (surveys) into various things such as the amount of homes with Internet. However, I found myself horribly cynical about their results. They'd gotten their results from a phone survey... I'd hazard a guess and say that those people are less likely to have access to the Internet, but the very method of data collection omits those people from their conclusions.

Why am I bringing this up now? TV3 made a big deal about their last poll before the elections. On the same day TVNZ 7 were doing some sort of travelling show talking to various voters in different electorates. The bit I saw was them talking to a couple of people in various Indian stores in Mt Roskill. None of them would state who they were going to vote for. So the question is, can the polls be trusted if, although an incredibly small sample size, the supporters of various parties are less vocal than the supporters of others?

I've also been horrified by some of the advertising. I always am, but normally it's around the slogans on billboards. One of the most horrible I've ever seen was during the Mt. Albert by-election - Russel Norman's, "For some muscle, vote Russel". Anyway, this time around, I keep seeing Nikki Kaye in town, a bunch of high school kids in tow, waving signs about. Yes, the National party is no longer just for old business men. Naive children who aren't old enough to vote yet are also supporters!

Talking about Mt. Albert... who here remembers the by-election? The candidates? Melissa Lee was making headlines for her foot in mouth disease. Russel Norman had a few billboards up but no one was paying any attention. Oh and Labour had a candidate - I don't think anyone actually knew his name but hey - he wasn't messing up as much as the other candidates.

So you'd think National would have up'ed their game right? Nope. Melissa Lee. They're not even trying. Labour have put in David Shearer (it doesn't really matter who they put in at this point). The Green's have put in David Clendon and ACT also have a candidate though if anyone ever thought that ACT would make a good representative for their electorate, you'd have to conclude that they don't really understand the candidate vote at all or otherwise, just don't understand what ACT are all about.

It's a no-brainer. And again, not for any merit of his own, but rather because the options are just so ... horrible or generally unremarkable, David Shearer will probably win the seat.

Way to go guys. A seat ripe for the plucking and it's just handed to Labour. Not that I'm complaining. I just think it'd be great if the party's actually took this seriously. The candidate vote should be about who would best represent our local interests. Obviously no one was terribly comfortable with Melissa Lee. They're still not going to be comfortable with her.

I suppose I should say something about my unease with even "The Green Party". They seem to have made a huge effort in recent years to be a lot more ... not quite respectable, but respect able. i.e. I'm able to respect them.

However, I find myself doing a palm plant when I hear terms like "Green Jobs". Lose the stupid jargon and make it sound ... practical. We care about the environment, and if you can demonstrate that the jobs are going to be beneficial to the environment, then all power to you but don't try to distract the from the fact that this is a step towards creating more jobs thus bringing down the unemployment rate and hopefully creating more opportunities.

While I'm a HUGE fan of Gareth Hughes and Metiria Turei is also on my radar, Russel Norman leaves me wanting to punch the party in the stomach. Partly due to his slogan for the Mt Albert by-election. He's never won an electoral seat in which case, he's never been able to win the confidence of people within a relatively small area - and yet, he's co-leader of our 3rd biggest party. To be fair, Turei and Hughes have also never won an electorate seat either. You've got to wonder what they're doing wrong.

Okay - so in terms of confidence that the NZ public have in them, not so great. I would blame a lot of their problems on the infighting and factions though. The Green Party seems to be full of factions. Who could forget Sue Bradford, now a member of the Mana Party? They seem a lot more cohesive now.

So I guess the question for me came down to the politicians I respect. Clare Curren from the Labour party, who had some input into Labour's plan to introduce 1:1 devices in schools (while completely disregarding the bits that would make it work such as giving the people a sense of ownership and responsibility in the programme) or Gareth Hughes, who seems to be the most likely to actually work to achieve something rather than fight for the sake of fighting.

At least this makes the decision a tiny bit easier than trying to figure out which party I could respect.

I still think we need a no-confidence type of party. In the last election it was the "Bill and Ben Party". The McGillicuddy Serious Party, which stood for various interesting policies such as free dung and the abolition of money, had great political influence when the Laird McGillicuddy (Graeme Cairns) was publicly tarred and feathered when he failed to win the 1999 election as he'd promised. Currently, this leaves the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party with those votes... uh-oh.

Heartbreak

2011-11-25T15:53:00.002+13:00

Define heartbreak:

Someone you care about looking miserable and you just wanting to hug them but not really being sure:

Whether they would appreciate a hug from you (at that particular time).
If that urge is about them or you.
How you'd go about initiating one.

What the Advertising is Saying

2011-11-22T00:31:00.002+13:00

In New Zealand there's this ad for a health insurance provider - Southern Cross Healthcare. They established a bunch of ads with a character, a white terrier, named Mr. Perkins.

The funny bit though is that Mr. Perkin's owner, Sarah, gets injured and so she goes and sees Mr Perkins... No, not that Mr Perkins...

What I'm wondering though.... does anyone find it weird that Sarah should be paying for health insurance, injure herself, and go and see a "specialist" who doesn't have a doctorate? These ads have been running since 2009... I would've thought someone would have pointed this out to them by now...

I so wish I could find a video of the ad...

Nevyn Hira and the Infinite Sadness

2011-11-21T16:32:00.001+13:00

I went out drinking on Saturday night. At times, after drinking, and with a great big hangover I often find myself feeling really horribly melancholy. Often I think I've offended someone.

I'm pretty sure I did this time around. It's possibly not as bad as I think it is as she's still speaking to me. It's either it's not as bad or she's just decided a working relationship with no reference whatsoever to anything personal is probably the best thing for it. The reason I almost always feel really horribly bad about this is the fact that I never want to make anyone feel like how I perceive how I've made them feel. In most cases, it's me getting defensive. I've taken something as a bit of a slight. For example, being told "those are my friends" is less friendly than just introducing them - even though this is definitely not a cause for offense.

This time I was almost comical in my attempts to poke fun at and be cute. It just wasn't happening. I knew what I was trying to say. I could hear myself say something that sounded shocking even to me. And in that case, I'm much more likely to just shut off and go away for a little while. Just because I've found myself a spade does not mean I have to keep digging. A bit like watching yourself falling. You wonder if you should put your hand out to stop your fall but you're not sure if it will result in stopping the fall or breaking your wrist.

So blame it on that god awful shyness of mine. Or how I get myself nervous over just about everything (when you over think EVERYTHING, everything becomes a source of anxiety). There's an apology in there just waiting to come out - if you're the one I'm talking about and you're reading this, chances are there is an apology I'm going to make. I really do feel really bad about it all.

So today, still feeling melancholy and ashamed, I'm finding myself wanting to be more than just a geek. I know... it's my job. There are some people who won't give me the time of day without a technical problem to fix. And I guess this is a result of the lack of balance to my life. I haven't cooked a meal in a while. I haven't knocked something together or done any gardening. Given that I no longer smoke (I did slip up the other day while drinking, took 2 puffs and found myself horrified by what I was doing and the sensation of it all) I no longer find myself star gazing. I haven't enjoyed a meal with a friend with a couple of drinks which is why I think I went overboard this weekend. I guess I'm just wound way too tightly.

I remember a few years ago I was going through a stage where I could obsess about something or just go on with being a nerd. At the time I had termed it "To be a geek or to be a real boy". Given that I've never really been that good a "real boy" I decided to distract myself with ... well ... geeky things. I think I may a fairly good geek. However, there's got to be more... doesn't there? I mean, are the two mutually exclusive.... are they?

So there we have it. A brand new anxiety. I don't want to be known just as "the geek" anymore. I want to be a real boy. I want to have social interactions that don't have me questioning myself and my motivations and whether I've been honest etc. I want to be able to throw caution to the wind and ... well ... interact. I don't want to over think everything. I don't want to be shy. Most importantly, I want to be in the moment...

Now.... how does one go about shaking off the geek shackles?

Relating to People

2011-11-20T20:53:00.006+13:00

I've had a sudden realisation.

While I'm working on getting some self esteem, I'm still not really relating to people. Quite often I'm making some joke about "not food" - i.e. KFC, McDonalds, Burger King etc. Or I'm criticizing people's choice in music (the silly thing is that I probably have the worst taste in music ever - 1920's show tunes, 1970's rock, Hayley Westernra etc.). The choice of television shows etc.

So while I've been peacocking (essentially looking great because I wanted to be noticed) all of last week and feeling great, I've also been a bit of a tool. My flatting experience has probably moved me away from being relatable - I have less in common with people. The lack of TV.

I never listen to the radio anymore due to the amount of advertising either - which means I'm often very behind in the latest music. I never go to the movies - mainly because I hate the idea of seeing a movie on my own. Being a geek further separates me. The word, while I own it - i.e. I find nothing offensive about it - does have some connotations. It's often used by other people to dismiss you or as an excuse to ignore anything you're saying because obviously geeks speak a different language. I had one case where as soon as they thought you were getting too technical, they'd make a white noise sound.

None of this is all that surprising really. A friend of mine noted that single people tend to .... I don't think she articulated it terribly well, but the gist of it was that there was a certain ... self centered quality to them. I think what she was really saying is that single people tend to lack the context which other's take for granted. So it's hardly surprising that I'm finding this all so very hard.

So I guess this is a bit of an appeal. Help me to be a better person. If I'm being a tool, call me up on it. If I am speaking a foreign language, then letting me know which bits you don't understand will only make me all that much better at speaking to people. In other words, don't use me being a geek as an excuse for my awkwardness.

Oh Labour, Why Can't You Think?

2011-11-19T14:48:00.001+13:00

Back in July I had a look at a paper about how the government could give kids devices for e-learning.

I was appalled with it. It missed some of the most obvious bits needed to make a 1:1 program successful. Anyway, it seems Labour's education policy, in the section titled "E-Learning and Engaged Young People", has actually been silly enough to think that a government pushed programme of this sort is going to work.

The OLPC (One Laptop Per Child) project identified that it's not enough to just give out the laptops. It's all very well for the country's government to come up with the funds. However, if there is no sense of ownership in the device, problems over care start to pop up.

In the Manaiakalani project this has also come up. The sense of ownership is also an opportunity to teach things like warranties, insurance, finance etc.

I can't emphasise just how important this is. Ownership of the device is absolutely key.

The devices themselves do not make e-learning work. In fact, drop the e. It's just not important. It's all just learning. What needs to happen for learning to work? You have to have buy in from the staff and the staff must feel supported. So a majour investment must go into the ongoing professional development of staff. No two ways about it.

Schools need to be thinking about what they want to accomplish from these devices. This really should involve the community. What do parents want their children to be learning? What do parents fear about the online world and how can those fears be mitigated? In other words, PD (Professional Development) for the community as well.

Government is a hammer. No two ways about it. They prescribe ways of doing things. Thus, the community, nor the school, will ever feel they own the programme if it comes from the government. This sort of thing works best from the bottom up. The best way to put an end to any positive talk about 1:1 programmes, in my opinion, would be to push it on people.

So what do I believe this money should be spent on?

The development of software and platforms that create a sustainable software stack that address New Zealand school children's concerns.
Enabling the schools to put in structures to develop a program. i.e. for the Manaiakalani project we have the Manaiakalani Trust that must have a certain amount in the bank to underwrite all of the netbooks.
Professional Development, Professional Development, Professional Development. If all you're doing with your computers is using a word processor, you're not really learning. I don't believe any school can do this on their own. We're lucky in that the people behind the Manaiakalani project keep looking around at other projects around the world.

I know, it would've sounded a little less grand saying "We'll enable schools to put together learning programmes around 1:1 devices" than "We'll give your poor kids computers!" but, it would have sounded well thought out. This is what is really missing from any policy I've seen during this election.

None of them really reason things out and figure out what the government's involvement should be and all seem to be a bit of flash to gain votes rather than coming up with real policies that actually do something positive. Imagine it - an election where you didn't feel that you were just voting for a name rather than how much good you think they would do in parliament based upon what they're saying they're going to do. The number of times I've heard "What's the point? None of them keep to their promises anyway". I think I'd be horrified if they did..

Can You Say Farce?

2011-11-18T21:33:00.000+13:00

New Zealand's elections are coming up! Brilliant! Time to kick National to the curb (Please on please don't vote National. That would be tragic).

Anyway, they're also doing a referendum on our voting system. What a crock! I just had a look at my voting papers and the information they sent out. For each of the options, the first sentence is "There are 120 members of parliament". Wow! Way to point out the differences in the different systems. If you look at the layout of the options in the informational leaflet, you can't help but think "It's not symmetrical". I can't help but wonder as to their reasons for the layout. For example, on the first line, MMP takes up 2/3's of the line, FFTP, 1/2. On the 2nd line, it's all Preferential Voting. The third line, a 50/50 mix of Single Transferable Vote and Supplementary Member.

Is this just a really bad case of someone trying to subliminally influence people's votes? Given the wording of NZ's last big referendum, "Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?", it's easy to see an improvement. I'm not sure if I've said this on this blog, but I thought the question was stupid and designed to get a particular answer. i.e. It's pathos. If you don't agree with the question, you don't believe in good parenting.

So it's an improvement. However, given that we're being bombarded with irrelevant information and not really given the information we need to make an informed decision, I would argue that this referendum is just as irrelevant. It's no more than a complete waste of money.

Shouldn't there be some sort of check on this sort of thing?...

Whoa!

2011-11-17T06:47:00.001+13:00

I often find that posts about the number of hits a site is getting is usually a bit... well... self-congratulatory. But WHOA!

Last night.... A shocking 300 odd hits. Slightly more than the rest of the month (the 15 odd other days) in just one day.

The highest amount of hits we've ever had in a month is a little over 700. We're already up to 600...

I wonder... if I get enough hits, monetize the site, could I then buy a house? Failing that.... a coffee?

Coffee

2011-11-16T19:33:00.007+13:00

Hi All,

Went out for coffee with a friend. We informed the media. We talked about the cost of coffee, the service and the size of our wallets. Things got a little heated when I realised he expected me to pay for half of his soy milk - $0.25 but it's the principal of the thing.

It turns out someone recorded our conversation. Weird. Nothing was said that I would hide from others. Given that the media were around it'd be a stupid time to say anything we didn't want others to hear.

I have no money. I thought the coffee was good but not nearly as good as the coffee at the coffee cart down by Britomart. Service wasn't nearly as good as we could have hoped but that's typical of New Zealand cafes.

Of course, the media have watched horror movies too. They know the unseen is far scarier than actually showing what's hunting down the stupid teenagers in the forest. None of our conversation has actually been revealed. I'm starting to doubt it was actually recorded.

Come to think of it... I did say a little something about the waitress. Looked great in black, about a third my age. Perhaps it's better if that recording doesn't get out.

Note to self: Don't tell the media when going to a cafe.

P.S.
If you don't know what this post is all about... I'm rather pleased with how clever it is for reasons I'm not going to note. This is very much a New Zealand thing and probably only really relevant at this current time. Sorry if you're reading this sometime after I wrote it and am especially sorry if you're not living in New Zealand. Should've read it before I wrote it.

P.P.S.
This is completely fictional. A waitress 1/3 my age would be a little over 10. I haven't had a chance to go out for coffee with a friend for a little while now. I'm not sure the media would be all that interested in me going out for a coffee. It's normally me who has the soy milk. About the only thing that's true about this post is the lack of money.

Grace

2011-11-16T05:06:00.005+13:00

I've been sitting here thinking about what I want to write. I have something in mind, but it's just not happening. I write a page of "stuff" and then end up deleting it because it's just not flowing. This all reminds me of me back when I was 16 and I had something I wanted to say. I was frustrated with something and really wanted to get it down in words. Anyway, it took me months to finally figure it out. It became a rather horrid poem which I'd actually gotten fairly good marks on. Yep... it became an assessed piece of work.

Anyway, part of what I want to write actually started almost sounding like grace. I'm sure I've said I kind of like the idea. If you could get rid of the references to a diety, I think it would be a whole lot better but that's just me. The problem with this is that it is full of "I" rather than the annoyance that's the imposed "we" you get when people are saying grace.

So here goes:

I am feeling anxious about my life. The idea that I've had to move back in with the folks (Oh - I moved in the weekend). I'm thankful that I'm able to rely on them. I'm a little ... embarrassed that things didn't work with the flatmate. Much as I'd like to blame someone else, I just don't think I'm the right flatmate for her.

I'm feeling lost without my own computer. I don't think I've been without a computer since.... 1999 when I moved to Christchurch and couldn't bring my computer with me.

I'm embarrassed to say that I ended up smoking again. I'm glad I've got the perseverance to see this more as a temporary setback rather than an indication that I shouldn't be quitting.

I'm resigned about the 5's. The 5 letter word "maybe" followed by the 5 month wait I think is going to be resolved by a lack of contact and I think I'm actually really quite good about it.

I'm actually feeling kind of connected to someone and although my shyness inhibits me quite a lot, I really am enjoying just spending a little time with her and being impressed by the passion she brings to what she does. One of those people who I really want to invite over for a meal. I hope I don't mess things up with my weird mixed signals which are a result of my shyness and my doubting myself.

I'm really happy that I'm surrounded by people who get it. School staff get to see some of the worst in people through the effect it has on their kid's behaviour, and oft times I go home ready to cry. And those are just the ones I'm aware of. So, I'm incredibly thankful I'm surrounded by other people who help make my anxieties not seem pathetic and who are at times as awkward as I am about these situations. Is it a good time to declare today "Teacher Aides Day"? Show your appreciation (actually, I don't really care what day this is done) for what they do and the emotional drain this puts on them and acknowledge the hideously poor rates they're paid. They really are a love over money people.

Baillie and Ian, are in DIY hell and having the carpet fitted on Monday (yay!). So I'm really happy they're buying a house which hopefully has a spare bed for when I visit after Christmas. I'm really happy I've got such cool friends. Not just Ian and Baillie, but ... well, you know who you are.

I've got to give a talk on Thursday though only to a small room full of people this time around. It's on the future of technical support for the Manaiakalani project. I'm not actually planning anything. Of course, at some stage, I have to put it down on this blog as there are quite a few people reading this blog who are interested. Here's hoping I don't seize up in a mumbling mess digging a toe into the ground and looking down saying "stuff", and what the kids have taught me, "fing" a lot.

Anyway, I think that's me. I feel.... kind of good after all of that. I highly recommend this.

Buying a New Computer

2011-11-14T12:22:00.001+13:00

It's kind of interesting not having a computer of my own. I'm thinking about getting my old desktop going again. It's around 6-7 years old now so horribly under spec'ed but it might do for the time being.

Anyway, I got to thinking about what I would like from a portable machine.

Firstly, it must have decent battery life. That restricts me to 2 classes of processor:

Intel Atom
AMD Fusion

To me, the AMD's have an edge over the Intel Atoms. They're able to decide HD video streams. This is something I haven't been able to do with the Intel Atoms. At least, not the N270 nor the N450.

The other big reason to go for AMD Fusion over Intel is form factor. The biggest complaint about the netbooks is the size. Complaints such as "I can't get a netbook, my eyesight just isn't that good". But what if you don't need a hell of a lot of processing power, value the portability that long battery life offers you but want a bigger screen?

It turns out that Intel has a restriction on the devices that can be manufactured around the Atom processors. 10.2 Inches. If you exceed that, either you can't sell the device with the screen (such is the case with the Asus eee box).

The AMD Fusion though has no such restriction. This means you can get a full sized laptop, with a long battery life but slower processor, full sized keyboard and full sized laptop screen (15" or so...).

This has lead to all sorts of interesting reviews on the Internet. Because those laptops don't really fit well into either camp - ultraportable vs. laptop - they're usually reviewed as a laptop with not enough processing power (try Linux on it...) or an ultraportable (netbook) that's not all that portable (due to size).

Anyway, I went to buy an ultraportable (It still deserves this label as the battery life makes it usable for a goodly amount of time) laptop at PB Technologies. The last one in store. Anyway, turns out they couldn't find it. Such are stock control systems...

Never mind - it's available at the same price from other places...

Anyway, I think the AMD Fusion processors will become the netbook processor of choice as it allows manufacturers a lot more options as to how they're built - size, added drives etc. Say goodbye to the Atom. It was good while it lasted, but seriously, if they're not going to offer the options, what's the point? Intel might as well give it up if they're unwilling to open it up.

Demotivational Posters

2011-11-12T09:56:00.002+13:00

Remember back in the 80's when people, mainly middle management, had posters on their walls that they'd constantly refer to as if those posters had somehow changed their lives? You kind of got the sense that you could do away with the manager and replace them with the poster.

They'd normally show scenes of something picturesque and have a single word underneath. And under that, in proportionally smaller text, there'd be some wanky quote.

They'd look quite good along the hallways of offices. A way to add a little colour.

Of course, it's incredibly hard, after seeing a lot of these, to take them terribly seriously.

Take the example here. What if the text were something along the lines of:

ACHIEVE

When you can't, fake it.

Suddenly, rather than a guy embracing the world around him, you see a guy trying to convince the world that the fish was "this big".

Taking something that someone found horribly motivating and turning it around is funny. It doesn't try to be anything that it's not. It's just not terribly motivational.

And thus, we have the demotivational poster. It's a response to something real. Something that people took seriously. It's not just a form factor. It meant something. It basically meant "Sod it, we're done with your manufactured sentiments".

But it's just a joke right? Well... no. It's a response to something. If you go looking for demotivational posters though, people seem to have completely missed the point. In a list of "the top 40" demotivational posters, I found around 7 odd that were actually demotivational posters.

Let's start acknowledging them for what they are...

Wall of Shame

2011-11-08T12:12:00.003+13:00

I really should follow my own advise. After months of asking people which courier company they'd be using when sending items my way and rejecting any that use any company of the Freightways group (New Zealand Couriers, Post Haste, Castle Parcels etc.), I found myself in a scenario where I wanted computer parts quickly and didn't go through the usual lines of inquiry.

Basically my hard drive died in my netbook. Well.... I was expecting it. So I figured, rather than a hard drive, I might throw in solid state drive instead. Hopefully it changes the user experience. Anyway, so I went online, checked out PB Technology and ordered online via credit card on Wednesday.

I then get an email the following day asking for a confirmation code.... on a credit card transaction? It turns out I needed to provide a 6 digit code which I would have to call up my bank for. Ring National Bank, answer the security questions, get a code. Asked about the code. It doesn't grant them any permissions or anything. It's just something their merchant system seems to want.

A few hours later I get another email from PB Technology saying that the code is wrong. Right. Ring the National Bank, answer security questions, get code. Ring PB Technology and give them the code as well as sending an email.

Friday - item gets handed over to the courier. Oh poo. New Zealand Couriers...

Tuesday, still waiting.

So on my wall of shame:

PB Technology. Why oh why do you have some weird requirement on something that the rest of the world can handle? Isn't the whole point of a credit card and online payments that things can happen seamlessly with no hassle?
New Zealand Couriers. Seriously. It can't be that hard! You're a courier company. Start acting like it! I've got an "investigation" going on it. An apology for the delay. Screw their apologies. I want the damn item! So much for "Point-to-Point". Closer to "Point-to-oh wait.... where is it again?"
National Bank. The guy I got the first time seemed confident and self-assured but gave me a completely different code from what it turned out to be. The woman I got the second time around was good and even went looking for the guy to find out what the hell he'd done.

So... almost a week since ordering. Brilliant...

Update: 11/11/11

So the solid state drive got delivered. Brilliant! I couldn't hold back my excitement. I was up till 1am that morning trying to get it working. It turns out that OCZ have a drive that won't work with most netbooks. There's an incompatibility between the drive and the chipset though they won't admit to the fault.

PB Technology, to their credit, offered me store credit or cash. So I exchanged the drive for an Intel one - 20GB smaller, but still, pretty damn cool. I got it into my netbook and had a 12 second bootup! Loved it. Anyway, the following day my netbook was dead :( D.E.D. Dead! The symptoms were that it would turn on though no output on the monitor or external monitor. Couldn't turn it off without disconnecting the power source - either plugged in or battery. Turns out this is indicative of a motherboard failure - $190AUS to replace (plus postage).

So anyway, while we're on the wall of shame...

OCZ - don't bother with 'em. They may offer the cheapest solid state drives on the market... but really. What's the point? If you can't trust that their gear is going to work with your gear and the company won't admit when there's a problem, it's just not worth the hassle.

Anyway, it turns out I'm now in the market for a computer of some description. My desktop is so out of date that I didn't bother taking it with me when I moved (there's an update on that - I'm about to do a post on it). The netbook is dead which was my highest spec'ed computer. So yeah... I'm now using one of the school's netbooks. This isn't a long term solution though...

Oh... and the fact that I spent $200 on the netbook only to have it crap out on me hasn't been lost on me... It's been a great week!

Pecking Order

2011-11-05T17:25:00.005+13:00

I was at a pub the other night having dinner after a failed meeting (the person was a no show).

Anyway, I'm sitting there and the person I'm with says to me "that girl over there keeps looking at you". Another couple of people joined us. A brother and sister pair. He then says something that I found a little strange at the time.

"Your pose is very aggressive like a gangster".

It wasn't until the following day that I realised what was going on. A friend had tried to explain the whole pecking order thing to me as exhibited in male humans (yes - I'm purposely being Sheldon like here). Actually, he was trying to tell me how to be higher in the order though I can quite honestly say - that's just not me. If you want to look like a douche, go right on ahead. I'm not going to fight for some position. It's classic though. I mean, an absolutely perfect example of someone trying to establish a pecking order.

The rules are simple - try and say something that puts the other person on the back foot but which they can't actually defend. What I find even more interesting was the fact that this guy perceived me as a potential challenger.

Anyway, about the girl. We invited her to the table and you can imagine what happened. He was on her like white on rice. He gave her his number though she very pointedly didn't give him hers. She left the pub shortly after.

So hey - I wasn't in the equation at all I don't think. But still - interesting seeing the whole pecking order thing in action.

Happening

2011-11-04T19:07:00.008+13:00

Those of you who know me personally may have noticed that I've been a little grumpy of late. I've been pretty much living at school (only ever leaving to go and do my laundry or get some sleep). I'm tired. Frustrated. And just generally feeling like I've got no options. Not a nice place to be.

So of course, I've been waiting for options to open up. Something's got to happen right? I mean, I can't really be expected to go on this way. What is more irritating is that at the moment I would probably have to accept charity to get myself out of this situation despite the type or work I do and the hours I put in. I don't think anyone has quite realised just how... frustrated I am. Okay, so one or two people have noticed. Basically a month of not having anywhere to relax. When everyone goes home after a day of screaming children, I'm still at school. Either keeping myself busy working, or, if I'm shattered, keeping myself entertained.

My big problem is a kitchen. I've always liked cooking and being in the kitchen. Putting together what are essentially compositions of food. Setting myself challenges (like finding a dessert that goes with a dry red wine for example). Trying to come up with the perfect 3 or 4 courses that just goes together perfectly. Finding ways of using whatever's in season. Poetry in action... Only with food rather than words (the right food in the perfect order). I had never expected this to have been a problem.

I was going to expand a little. I'm not a big baker. I'm pretty bad with things that I have to leave alone for long periods of time. Rice is almost always burnt. Cakes I just find frustrating (although the friands were just plain awesome!). So I was going to start doing breads. Things like ciabatta or white vienna. Perhaps even a 5 grain. I've even gone out and found myself an old 1970's Kenwood mixer.

If you think about it, we're gouged on bread. We're offered up horrible sponge like white things - spongy texture, no flavour. And we're charged a crapload for the privilege. If however, we were to take out some time in the morning to mix our bread and let it proof during the day, bake it in the evening, a much more interesting loaf of bread, normally sold for around $5, would probably cost us less than $1.50. And that's with sod all effort.

I was also going to try my hand at beer. I find the whole idea fascinating. How much honey would you put into a pilsner to get just a slight honey after taste? What things make it bitter? What sort of things give a beer it's character? It's just cooking except with a whole lot more patience needed. Speaking of character - have you ever tried Miller's lager? Apparently the idea of an American lager is to keep out any character thus not offending anyone. Horrible stuff. A great standard for what not to brew.

I found it interesting last week when people were talking about buying one of those Easi-Yo things. It's essentially 2 jars - one insulated and the other fits inside it. Here's a tip people - if you want to make your own yoghurt, never mind Easi-Yo. If you boil some milk (sterilise it), let it cool a little, chuck in some yoghurt (for the cultures so it needn't be a lot), put it in a covered vessel (something not air tight) and leave it somewhere warm and dark, in a day/couple of days you'll have yoghurt. Do it with cream instead and you end up with crème friache.

Never mind a bedroom. What I'm really after is a serviceable kitchen and somewhere to entertain people. Cooking for yourself is so much different from cooking for other people.

But my biggest thing about cooking? Being able to actually focus on actually cooking. If you've never gotten lost in the cooking and set off the smoke alarms and only then realised that you've generated a lot of smoke or finished cooking and gone to construct the dessert only to realise that the place is a complete sty and there's just no where to do it (the fridge often works in this scenario) then you're just not getting into it. I hate watching people who can't seem to focus on what they're cooking and would gladly sacrifice the food for washing up dishes or wiping down surfaces etc.

So I've got places I can read. And a place to watch TV (streamed on the computer). What I'm really lacking... somewhere I can invite people over and enjoy a good meal with. What better way to say thanks to people than to invite them into your home and enjoy a meal with them? Or to say "I appreciate you"?

It's going to happen. It's got to happen...

A Piece of Awesomeness

2011-11-04T18:57:00.002+13:00

Wow! What a thrill! I got the blog today to find 2 all new posts. Brilliant. Love when things happen when I'm not around.

Anyway... At one of the schools they're doing a space inquiry. Brilliant! What do nerds love? And who made Linux? So there are some very cool applications (and some not so brilliant ones).

Celestia, the darling of the Linux space world I found to be kind of pretty but ultimately more trouble than it's worth. It's a bit hit and miss. Rendering issues where planet's aren't actually skinned and zooming issues when seeking celestial bodies make this just a pain in the classroom. Sorry teachers. It's basically a Google Earth for space and has A LOT of content so probably not so bad when looking further than our own solar system.

Stellarium is just plain awesome. Imagine being able to let your kids know what to look out for in terms of stars and planets that night. Brilliant!

One of the first things I found was a video. It's a little lame but, truth be told, I really enjoyed it. Even the silly little lame joke at the end. Starring M51 and Gizmo in "Half Baked Plan".

And finally, I was mucking around, and realised that this was the perfect opportunity to teach some kids to use GIMP. For those not in the know, GIMP is the "General Image Manipulation Program". It's kind of a poor man's Photoshop. And let's be honest, how many features of Photoshop do people really use? So, I've heard the kids say that GIMP is lame and they don't think it can do anything and it's only for touching up pictures.

I've been trying to come up with a way to get them interested. For no other reason than I think they could come up with some really interesting things in it. So the image above is an example of what I came up with. Basically a stylized planet on a starscape, with a flare effect. Absolutely none of it is drawn by the user and, a pretty clued up person could produce in under 5 minutes.

So I've spent much of this week going around classes teaching this stuff. I wrote up some instructions which I've had mixed results from. A lot that has been a result of approaches.

As a reading activity, I found it to be a bit of a fail. I'm not sure if this was a result of me being there, the instructions, or an inability of the kids to follow through instructions. One girl blew me away today with how well she did follow the instructions. The other class who tried this approach set it as homework and the bits that came back had me well impressed.

As a "follow along as a class" activity, this worked really well. The kids stayed attentive for around 1/2 an hour and were pleased with their results and had started to play with the possibilities by the time I left.

In smaller groups where I took a sole teaching approach - i.e. me teaching without a teacher - it was tiring. The first group, I had a little girl who stated she was "more clever" than any of the others and then just wouldn't keep up or listen. So eventually, when I got a poke in the shoulder and asked "What do I do now mister?" I turned around and said to her "Well... Do what you like. You're not listening to me anyway so why ask me now?". The 2nd group wanted to carry on and do more though I was trying to fit another group in and so had to move them on. The 3rd group excitedly declared I had been their best teacher all year! So after 2 groups today plus a class doing it as a reading activity, I'm feeling exhausted.

I already had a hell of a lot of respect for teachers.... but really... given that they've got the same kids day in, day out with the same conflicts and behavioral issues... it's emotionally draining. Life kind of takes a back seat to preparing lesson plans and marking tests etc. I reckon a bunch of flowers to the teachers at your local school, a packet of biscuits for their morning tea - just some sort of token of appreciation is in order.

Museo

2011-11-01T11:27:00.000+13:00

Museo is the new Comic Sans MS, except it's a much better font, quality-wise. And it comes from the awesome foundry Exljbris, which has made the world better with Diavlo and Fontin and Delicious, Calluna. But it's becoming terribly common...

Museo Museo Museo... for those who don't know, we will need to introduce you. Your face has become famous, I gather, but your name?

Are your memories freshened? Do you remember where you have seen it? Any Aucklanders in the ranks?

I overdosed on that font

Museo seemed to be the dominant, if not official, typeface at The Cloud. Even before I stepped inside, I was assaulted by that typeface of oldie years. “Finally”, I thought, “the generic typeface was not made for children and misused since conception. Finally, it was forged by masters and wielded to perfection; before becoming common it was great, and it was born from love, not money.”



Museo is becoming common

But it still stands: the typeface is becoming common. And it shouldn't; no such font should. Why? Because it has Character. It is different from other generic fonts like, say, Arial or Helvetica, Times New Roman or Georgia. These are generic in their own right: they were quasi destined to become widespread. As such, they have ever-so-little uniqueness. The more type-aware of you will burst in a violent outcry at this: but before you do... yes — I know.「softly」 I know.

Museo is an incredible typeface. The uniqueness! The u! The u? Indeed... in most fonts and faces, it is the g which is most distinguished. Have a look:

Each font has its own character

Peer in closer and have a look at the lowercase Fertigo Pro...

But Museo... Museo! Museo has its U:

I smile just looking at this U. Like that: Ü hehehe. Beautiful fonts make me happy. But beautiful fonts are only beautiful if they are chosen to match, not chosen to flock.

So please: if you are choosing a font, look at the multiverses available to you. Subscribe to a typographic newsletter (the MyFonts one is quite accessible). Visit foundries. Attend workshops. Share the love for type.

Go forth and harvest kiwis — uh, fonts!

And if you must, if that font is perfect for you, if that font in that context makes you smile and softly hum to yourself: use Museo.

Things that make me happy

2011-10-31T08:30:00.118+13:00

Now I know it's kind of a big 180 to do a post like this, what with all Nev's work of making this a blog about stuff we complain about. Think of it as a belated birthday present. (Just a quick note before you watch the two videos linked below, they have some naughty language which may be NSFW.)

Google Plus: Nevyn sent me the invite, and even though he's decided to drop out (this is the part where you can harangue him into rejoining) I have really enjoyed using my account. The benefits of Google Plus are: It's not facebook. Okay so that's really the main one. I don't really follow that many people on it yet, but the ones I do usually offer a better quality of postings than what you would find on fb. Also, no games requests thus far.
My Drunk Kitchen:

The Waikato Times: So in my other web-based shenanigans I have a tumblr account called Bad News Puns and the Waikato Times seems to consistently provide the best material. See fine examples here, here and here. Please, never, ever change Waikato Times.
Kenny Rogers Jackass: Confession time. When I was a kid I unironically LOVED Kenny Rogers. I had a double-cassette (kids: This is what we had to use before MP3s) of his greatest hits which I made my parents play whenever we went on long car journeys. As an adult, looking back, I think most of the appeal had much to do with the fact that he looked like Santa. Anyway I have since found these clips on YouTube:

Now this isn't the Kenny I loved as a child, but it's the one I adore as an adult. These are just some of the things that brighten up my day (and boy have I needed it). What makes you smile?

Propaganda in New Zealand

2011-10-29T16:47:00.000+13:00

One of the big things that the Labour party started and which National seem to have down to a fine art form is the amount of propaganda in the media.

I was in Auckland City yesterday and happened to see a small sea of tents in Aotea Square. The protest is still going. What protest you may ask? I remember seeing it on TV3 News. They were reporting that NZ's peaceful example of a worldwide protest was peaceful and ending "tomorrow". I'm sure that was more than a week ago. It's still going.... Doing a search of the TV3 News website shows a few opinion pieces telling us why we should all think that it's a half arsed protest. I'm of course talking about "Occupy Aotearoa".

So it's not finished, it's supposedly half arsed and yet there are still people in Aotea Square. I see this as a movement away from the "let's just trust the government is acting in our best interests" and more a move towards "Hey! We're still here! You remember us? The people you're supposed to be representing...".

A few months ago there was a protest around the "filesharing" act (by the way, this page is essentially a file that I've just shared with you... We ALL share files...). Anyway, the protest got next to no coverage.

And you have to wonder why. Protests traditionally have made great stories. "People are unhappy and shouting about it!". Instead we get a "There were a couple of hippy's in town today. They've since been moved on". Where is our outlet for dissent? Why are the thinkers now being marginalised? And if media was all about money, then wouldn't they want to jump on these stories?

Labour, back in Helen Clark's day, got a bill passed around filming embarrassing moments in parliament. It turns out politicians can't make decisions if they're worried someone's going to film them picking their ears/noses/other orifices.

National keep threatening (and acting on) shutting down state owned media - TVNZ 7 is receiving no more funding next year despite being the smartest channel on our screens and National Radio have been threatened numerous times. The current government have also essentially lent MediaWorks a lot of money for their radio spectrum licensing. Add to this that RadioLive (owned by MediaWorks) had John Keys do an hour show.

What is this all about? When's the last time you saw Phil Goff, Metiria Turei or Russel Norman get any decent air time? I can understand Phil Goff not getting airtime - he's forgettable. Russel Norman was part of the Mt Albert By-Election (National have fielded Melissa Lee again which just makes me think that they're not really fighting for the seat at all) but did little more than put up some boards. From what I've seen of Metiria Turei - she's one smart cookie with grounding in a very practical place. But those are just my impressions. Surely the media (especially the news) is about representing the stories out there, not colouring them to the current government's ends.

I'm at a loss as to how to end this post. Do we protest? Isn't that a bit like a tree falling in the woods? Do we boycott? Would any of you give up one of the few channels of news in protest? Any ideas you may have would be well appreciated....

A Year

2011-10-25T15:09:00.000+13:00

I just realised! I've now had this blog for a year!

A year of ranting and inviting a couple of others to post to it. It's been over a year since I started out on the Manaiakalani project. A year of growing (hopefully).

So yeah... a year. And some of you are still reading... weird.

The Death of Confidence

2011-10-25T11:07:00.004+13:00

I spent a great deal of my childhood isolated. I couldn't speak the same language the people around me were speaking. When my sister's were learning to speak English, I was learning to speak. Once speaking English I could never get the accent right for Indian languages and gave up when I'd get mocked for my accent.

So the start of my life was not understanding those around me unless they chose to communicate with me. Add to that the fact that I'm Indian and racism as a youth was terrible and you've got me not really fitting in anywhere.

Fast forward to today. I hate it when I say something to someone and suddenly they turn around and whisper to someone else. It's that same feeling again. I'm alone. I realised what annoyed me so much about something someone asked me to. It wasn't that it was racist (If you can't have a laugh....), but more that it would've been put me on stage doing something on my own. Singled out. In front of a crowd.

One of the girls who was flirting with me at Ulearn said something along these same sorts of lines.

"There's nothing quite like being in amongst a group of people to make you feel so utterly and completely alone."

And that's what it was that had me freaking out at the Ulearn dinner. I hate crowds. This in itself isn't all that significant though. I mean, as a youth, I attended a Big Day Out and was about as comfortable as you could be in a mosh pit.

What I really hate is feeling alone in crowds. And what had me feeling alone? A bunch of small things. Hell - the perception of small things. The feeling that I wasn't included in things. For a great deal of the time I was nothing more than a passenger. Kind of a "we have a spare seat" thing going on. To some people's credit, they did try. There were the condescending people who came up and asked me about something nerd like after I'd introduced myself as a professional geek. Play along. Drink. Smoke. Drink some more. Rinse and repeat. There were even a few apologies - they didn't seem to realise that I was being completely overlooked. A pink bow tie only because the other guys had brought their own. The lack of a pink flower. It was weird though. There was a moment where it stopped - I was included again after a coffee on my own, and lunch on my own (this was the day after the dinner). This almost tangible change. Or... the perception of a shift in attitude. I'm still trying to figure this out.

Anyway, so today I'm feeling... a loss of confidence. I'm small doing what I need to do. This probably isn't a good time to be giving up smoking... I think delicate is going to be the word of the day.

Being a Better Person

2011-10-24T07:49:00.000+13:00

Ulearn was one of the few places where I actually genuinely wanted to stop smoking. Of course, this was rendered ineffectual by my having to do a 5 minute presentation (it kind of went okay only I missed my opportunity to talk about open source software - not the fact that it's open source but the fact that it allows us to own our software and make it work the way we want it to work).

After that was a great big dinner. I hate crowds. Never been comfortable with them. And every now and again I end up in a cold sweat that has me just freaking out. Heart thumping in throat as my desperately try to keep it together. Rocking backwards and forwards is a real possibility. Crying also. So at the dinner I found myself outside often, smoking. And while inside, I was drinking something chronic.

There, funnily enough, is some benefit to smoking. The breathing done when smoking is much the same as the techniques taught to handle anxiety for example. One of my big things has always been that it takes you away from what you're doing and allows you to solve problems. i.e. I quite often find answers to programming problems when outside, cigarette in one hand, print out in the other, pacing furiously.

After a cigarette someone had called me stinky. The evening after, the same again only much more ... effectual this time around. I found myself outside after everyone had gone to bed, smoking, pondering on it.

This, to me, is the best argument against smoking. Everyone has to die. But you don't have to live your life being embarrassed by the smell of smoke.

When I expressed this idea to someone, rather than take the win, they argued that you don't have die early. Take the win people. Given that there is very little dignity in death, what does it matter?

But it kind of does matter. To the people around you.

So I've got this obsession with being a good person. I think I'm a pretty good person. But part of me always wants to be better.

When I've offended someone I tend to agonise over what I did wrong. I've always wondered as to the dynamics in relationships. Most guys I know, when splitting with a partner, sit around trying to figure out what they did wrong and how they could have done better. This is a far cry from the woman on sitcoms who sit around with their girlfriends burning anything that reminds them of the guy and results in hot firemen turning up to their home. Think depressed guys crying into a whiskey vs. women at a club downing shots in a party like atmosphere. Same thing really.

I do tend to see the flaws more than the positives. This is for a very practical reason. If it's working well, there's no need to focus on it. It's the negatives, the things that need fixing, that need attention.

Of course, this does seem to be a result of how I was brought up. A lack of positive reinforcement. We know positive reinforcement is a good thing. It's good for things like self esteem (which I've established, I have very little if any).

So how could I be a better person? By starting to see the positives. By quitting smoking. By not blaming others when I'm feeling detached. By being more communicative.

So this afternoon I figure I'm going to go and buy myself some nicotine patches. Attempt to not be quite so stinky. Thanks those at Ulearn who made me feel... self-conscious enough to stop.

Oh - and "Go the All Blacks!"

Streaming Woes

2011-10-23T23:06:00.001+13:00

I'm sitting here watching the rugby world cup final. Sure, I'm not normally a rugby fan. But then, I'm not such a nerd that I haven't figured out the rules.

Unfortunately, I'm at school. I didn't bother trying to figure out how to stream the sky decoder out to the TV's and so I'm watching it via a live stream on the Internet.

Who would've thought that after all this time, and all that investment into the technology, that it would be so utter crap. Low resolution, with loads of stutters (the video, not the sound). The first couple of streams I tried failed after a little while. The first one cut out during the national anthem. Not happy.

France's first try came about in a rather unpleasant slide show. I'd yell and shout only my 'puter's microphone isn't working anyway. If I yell and curse and no one is around to hear it, have I really yelled? I guess that's what this blog is for....

Anyway... Flash. It's rubbish. The user experience is compromised in favour of security. Why can't we have it cached for a few seconds in order to avoid that stuttery badness? Because content companies don't want you to have the opportunity to be able to save that cached data.

I remember back in the mid-nineties the big craze was high definition content being delivered over the Internet. (There's a few more crazes that I keep hearing are going to happen - things like RFID tags in all of your groceries!). This hasn't happened. Instead of going to the local DVD shop you could just view it online. Internet TV's have now come about! (In 1994, a subsidiary of Acorn Computers called Online Media sought to capitalise on the projected Video on Demand market with a range of set top boxes that turned your TV into an "Internet TV").

So the technology isn't a new idea. We've probably had the technology for a good long while now. We've had load balancing for a long time. Pretty good video compression. Delivery mechanisms. But it's all for naught.

Instead we have Flash, and the up and coming Silverlight.

Let's look at Silverlight for a second. It just can't succeed. There is only one way I can see it happening. If they were to concentrate their efforts into moonlight, the open source plugin, they might actually win out over Flash.

Flash is a closed technology that leaves a sour taste in most people's mouths. The plugin often fails on Linux machines, or, if not failing, is inconvenient. It doesn't integrate at all well with Linux's sound system. The way that most distributions have found to get around the license conditions - by not actually packaging it but rather, packaging a script to download it from Adobe - is known to fail frequently. What's more, it's not offered on Apple's iOS platforms.

If either Silverlight or Flash were to become open source, support on all platforms could be done in a transparent manner and would ultimately result in more support for more platforms with less cost. And some of those smart cookies in the FLOSS world could even integrate some level of caching for Videos! Imagine it. A streaming experience that didn't suck!

And hey - who knows! People might actually stop pirating quite so much if the content they wanted wasn't hindered in stupid ways. i.e. TV on demand that didn't feel like watching TV through a pin hole camera.

Oh the possibilities...

One More Month

2011-10-22T12:20:00.001+13:00

There's only one more month. Just one more...

Back in June I did this one paragraph in a post which had taken me ages to get right - down to a paragraph and not so whingy. It was a subject that I could have ranted and raved about at great length and had me horribly upset. Anyway, I'm finding myself saying "just one more month".

The problem is, all of this is just leading up to exactly the same mistakes being made.

At Ulearn I was surprised when I was being flirted with. It happened several times. Being surprised... not so great (I really do need to figure out that whole self-esteem thing). However, given how I have been feeling of late (essentially homeless), a bit of an ego boost.

But is it really? My ego hasn't really been feeling that much more validated. Is this "one more month" stopping me from enjoying the flirting? And for what? A thunderous lack of communication?

Define frustrated.

Thinking on - I seem to be spending my life waiting. Waiting for the new job to kick in so that I can afford to change the "homeless" situation. Waiting to resolve a simple "maybe" - and that's just to see if someone wants to hang out (I really hate the word "maybe"). Waiting to see what happens. Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Oi! Gym Going People!

2011-10-22T11:40:00.002+13:00

I find it really hard to take people who go to the gym seriously.

Think about it for a second. You go to the gym to get fit.

Why are you unfit? There's a really good chance you drive around everywhere right? So you pay for a car, petrol, maintenance on the car (tyres, oil etc.) and find you have to pay $30 odd ($1560 a year) a week to keep fit.

What if you were to leave the car in the garage every now and again? Go and walk amongst people. Carry something heavy home. Enjoy the neighbourhood.

If you really must go the gym..... walk to it. It's a warm up in a very real way.

When Security Goes Wrong

2011-10-21T21:37:00.000+13:00

I was at a conference (Ulearn) this week. A couple of things struck me while I was there.

For starters, someone sat there telling me that they were starting with security with a project. I can't help but think this is completely backwards. Security's important, sure. But then, what are you trying to build? Work out the specifications.

Does it actually have to be used? Who are your intended audience? What sacrifices are you willing to make for security?

Let's face it. It's very hard to do security without effecting the end user experience. Normally you're expecting something from users - think Captchas. Those annoying images that quite often you can't read terribly well. Or you're dealing with speed issues such as what happens when a password has been encrypted several times. SSL certificates are good - for the most part - but when things go even slightly wrong, you've effected the user experience again. Suddenly their web browser is telling them that they can't trust that site.

Security is a necessary evil. But it's also a sacrifice to other things. This is a classic engineering problem. You have to ask yourself how that security is going to effect the usage. Whether users will look for ways around it. Think Internet filtering. If you've blocked something that your users really want to use - such as social media - your users will start working against such security. Are you actually achieving anything with your security?

And this kind of leads into something I was trying to explain in my five minute talk at Ulearn. Take the nerd out of the equation for a second. Examine your computer system (this could be school or business) and ask yourself, does it work the way YOU (or your users) want it to work? And when I say You, I really mean it. I know this probably sounds harsh, but stop letting the nerds dictate the way you work. They're not doing you any favours. If they can't make it work the way you want it to work, then start looking at other solutions and vendors. What other industry dictates to you what you want?

In this way, Open Source software becomes an answer. If you've got the source code, you can change it. Stop working in spreadsheets and word processing documents and start thinking about how it could be better. If you were to design it, what would it look like?

In other words, own it.

0.41070991959948644

2011-10-03T14:22:00.000+13:00

I come back with another awesome title. Sorry ;D ...

I recently had to think up a random number. To be more precise, a random-looking integer with about 2 digits. And that's when the troubles began.

Any digit from 0 to 9 is way too common. (0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 are out of the picture)
Primes are overrated. (11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97)
Perfect squares are annoying. (16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81)
So are powers of two. (32)
And anything divisible by three you can overly easily spot by adding digits. (12, 15, 18, 21, 24, 27, 30, 33, 39, 42, 45, 48, 51, 54, 57, 60, 63, 66, 69, 72, 75, 78, 84, 87, 90, 93, 96, 99)
So can you with zeros and fives. (10, 20, 35, 40, 50, 55, 65, 70, 80, 85, 95)
Doubles are plain offensive. (22, 44, 77, 88)
Due to several works of fiction I will not mention, anything with a abundance of 7 will go through the trap. (37, 74, 76, 97)

That leaves me with 14, 26, 28, 34, 38, 46, 52, 58, 62, 68, 82, 86, 92, 94, 98. But these are all even numbers. Goodness me. Ah, but -- I missed one: 91. There ya go, one perfectly random number. Yay!

Oh, wait...

Evaluating Your Own Worth

2011-09-16T22:40:00.001+12:00

I hate it. I really do. There's the fact that I've struggled with self-esteem for pretty much my entire life. And the fact that I love hate relationship with money.

If you think of money as a finite resource (which it has to be to have any value), and there's a crapload of people on the planet, and you're well aware that there are loads of poor people on the planet, then you start to wonder what things would look like if you didn't show a bit of greed. What if you were to, instead, chose to take a lower pay packet in the hopes that the wealth might be shared around? What if a lower pay packet meant that someone else might be employed?

And money never seems to take into account morality. This is my big argument against capitalism. Yep, that's right. I'm anti-capitalism. It's an imperfect system. And instead of finding a slightly more perfect (yes, I realise "perfect" is not a scalar term) system, we seem to be obsessed with trying to make this one work - despite knowing that it's really just not great. It doesn't, for example, take morality into account.

Look at American's and their resistance to socialised healthcare. I had a huge debate with someone on Google Plus about this. I had stated quite clearly that I didn't think I'd ever quite understand his position. Rather than provide healthcare to everyone, he claimed that it was better to try and fix the system so that competition drove down prices.

Of course, it's not in any healthcare provider's best interest to ever enter into a price war... So they may add more value, but they will never get any cheaper. A basic need, such as healthcare, in the hands of the result of capitalism.

But then, I want to be comfortable. I want to be able to pay off my tax bill and buy a kick butt computer and be able to eat well and buy beer etc. All of that important stuff. And one day, I'd love to have my own property. A lifestyle block where I'm able to build something obscenely sustainable with a swimming pool and commercial kitchen for when I have (a lot of) guests over.

So nothing is quite as frightening than being asked to "give a figure" in an interview. Essentially asking, "what do you think you're worth?"

So how do you evaluate yourself?

Whenever asked for "a figure" during what's essentially a job interview, I find myself playing the part of a blushing maiden on her wedding night. There are lots of "ahh"s and "umm"s and more blushing than is healthy.

And then, there's the point that a very old (old as in known for a long time rather than old as in age) friend of mine pointed out. That monetary value is essentially how we define our own worth. Our lifestyle is how we're taught to see ourselves. So if we're earning loads, there's an inherent self worth that comes with it. If we can do this without compromising our own values, then that value is worth all the more.

So assuming I was asked this question recently... what do you think is a fair figure?

Writing Blog Posts

2011-09-07T22:22:00.002+12:00

I often have these ideas for blog posts. They sound great! For example, I had this whole idea about my name. It means no one. So while working on the project, you need a someone (this is what lead to the establishment of a hackerspace in Auckland), or no one. i.e. We've got no one to do this task...

But then I came to write it only to find that it all sounded... kind of crap. It just didn't read well. For every post on here that I've done, there are probably 5 or 6 that didn't make it on here. As I'm currently writing, I realise I'm reaching. I'm trying desperately to find something to write about.

I think Baillie has a similar problem. I quite often see partial posts of hers that never happen. I'm privileged that I get to, at the very least, see a stub of a post. "The 'cool' Dad" never happened. "New News, please" looks like a bunch of excuses as to why she hadn't posted for a while though I can't think of a more apt time for that heading.

Boy am I sick of news around the rugby global container for drinking (I'm doing my best to avoid using those words in any combination). And yes... we know 9/11 (why do American's use such a [insert expletive - I'm being lazy and don't want to come up with one myself] date syntax?) happened 10 years ago.

I'm finding myself wanting to be really horribly sarcastic about the international Rugby competition that involves a drinking vessel. Apparently in New Zealand we have both types of sport - Rugby union and rugby league. I know I'm not the only one. I would like to see the message on this t-shirt to perhaps be a little more bold in it's message. i.e. White sans-serif text on a black shirt. There's also the fact that the lead up to the rugby global goblet was a great big outcry about supporter's jerseys - which got more airtime on the news than the London riots or America's "financial woes" - and even more interesting - if you pointed this fact out to people, they'd then spend the next few minutes talking about the jerseys... Point out the fact that they've just spent more time discussing the jerseys and not the big news items and they'd look slightly confused.

So anyway, the message of the post that never quite happened tonight:

We're starting to get asked how to replicate the project. It's great and cool things are happening. How can what can essentially be branded "The Manaiakalani approach" be applied in other places?

Openness - EVERYONE should feel free to talk to anyone else. There's no point in keeping information from people because you want to avoid a toxic environment. I still think we could be doing this a little better. i.e. I'd wish people would stop trying to control my time by not telling me things like problems that they have or meetings they'd like me to attend. But for the most part, I think we do pretty well on this front.

Buy in - The people involved need to be committed to it. This is EVERYONE. The school, the principal, the teachers, the students and parents etc.

But most of all - expect that you're not going to be able to anticipate everything that is needed. Be flexible. Don't be afraid to ask around and get people talking to each other. And if all else fails and you've got no one to fill a space....

Okay - so the post still feels a little flat. For those of you who missed it, yes... it's a stub of a sentence with some comical effect - though not to great effect. Sometimes I think I'm too tiered for my own good.

So... in terms of rambles... This truly is one. I never knew how this post was going to look. I didn't have a destination in mind nor do I think I got there. And if you've gotten this far, you're doing better than I would.

So how do you end a blog post? Like this:

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

2011-09-02T07:34:00.002+12:00

As an introduction, I'll tell you that you can expect my posts to be kinda geeky, without the overhead; what that means I'm not totally sure. You can expect more semicolons than you will normally encounter: I seem to like these little critters. You can expect long titles with Capitalised Words, or very short ones all in lowercase. You can expect better spelling than the previous posts... no, that's not a criticism (Is it a criticism?)... OK, yeah... it's a criticism. You can expect very obscure puns and very silly neologisms. You can expect a distinct preference for British spellings with a dash of American contractions. You can expect bold and italic instead of (or in conjunction with) ALL CAPS; also, Small Caps when I can. You can expect rhythm (a bit). You can expect programming (a lot). You can expect Frenchisms (sometimes). Happy reading!

To start us with, and by default of better material, here's my cheating rant:

I was thinking... (uh oh) about why cheating is such a problem in high school, where it really doesn't matter at all. High school is easy. I'm not saying that because I'm a nerd and I passed it with easy As (or Es, depending on which system you're in) -- I didn't. I'm a nerd and a computer geek and I got super crappy marks (by nerd standards) at my finals which barely got me enough points to get into Uni.

But that's the point. High school is easy because all you need to do to pass is listen in class and put a little effort in. Actually, you might be able to do less than that, because the teachers are paid better if more students pass their class, so some of the worst (or best) ones will actually give you full marks for very bad work.

In comparison, Uni is hard. Uni is incredibly harder than school because you actually have to learn stuff. You can't just passively sit in class, you've got to go out and read, practice, and do whatever it is you're studying. You've got to have self-discipline to get your assignments in at the correct time, and get to your tests early. There's no one behind you pushing you, and lecturers get paid the same whether or not you pass the course.

Cheating in high school is hard. For one, you have small classes and a teacher who knows you. That means that to cheat (successfully), you need to have someone who can imitate your style while consistently give you better marks than you ever could. It's a hard job. Because it's a hard job, you need to pay for it, or terrorise your local genius into doing it for you. There's also a very large amount of safeguards put into effect by schools and the ministry to avoid cheating in high school. You spend more time learning anti-cheat NCEA protocols than writing the papers. It's incredible.

Cheating in Uni is easy. You're just a number, and as a number, all you really need is a fake student ID to get into any class or test room you want. If you have the knowledge, you can make very easy money by getting paid to take papers for others. There's no safeguards, there's no millions invested in there. And I'm talking about cheating, not copying your essays off the Internet -- that's just plain stupid.

Cheating in high school will get you a qualification that more than 60% of the population get. That qualification might help you get into Uni or get a small job, but that's all it's ever gonna do. You won't put your NCEA pass certificate in a frame up on your office wall. And nobody cares if you cheated in high school, because it's not that important, really.

Cheating in Uni will get you a degree that more than 60% of the original first year entrants fail to get. Having this fake degree will enable you to take on jobs that you cannot do properly because you do not have the actual knowledge. Having this degree might get you paid ten grands a week that you do not deserve. Having this degree might put other people's lives in danger (think surgeon).

Cheating in Uni is easier than cheating in high school yet the stakes are incredibly higher. In my opinion, the first education funding cut we need to make is in the whole high school cheat prevention thing. Cheats in high school will do well at small jobs and fail in the first semester of University. There's no need for anything else.

Good Bye Google Plus

2011-08-31T19:24:00.000+12:00

This post contains language that some readers may find disturbing. Uptight parental units not advised. Children not advised. (Or just skip the first paragraph).

Well that's it. My social networking experiment over. I made sure I let Google know I thought they were being dicks. I put in a suggestion and added some feedback.

As far as protests go, this one was fairly easy. It's all over and done with. No on going commitment. Not at all like my DB protest. I still find myself tempted by a DB pub - mainly because I can have a smoke in comfort at the local DB pub.

I really just don't have the time. I was enjoying it. Interaction with loads of relatively random people. Discussions (some of which I really didn't want to have just because I knew I wouldn't understand their position) galore! And I have to say it's ultimately fun picking on random people.

Anyway, I wonder just how much of a protest this really was. I always imagined there was a sacrifice to be had from any good protest... and truth be told, I didn't feel it to be a great sacrifice. Okay, sure, I met loads of interesting people. But then, I went up to an Indian restaurant the other day and met some pretty interesting people. So interesting people are all over the place really.

What really ultimately upsets me though... I came up with a great thought just before I removed myself from g+. Given that it was my birthday but I'd had a hellish day and a late meeting, playing with Oliver, a baby, was very calming. Sometimes I think babies have all the answers. If only we'd realised it at the time and stopped crying about it.

I'm sure I wrote that a hell of a lot better last night. If you've followed me here from g+ - I really am kind of missing it. Still, meat space... time to do things in meat space.

Getting to the Bottom of Google+'s Real Name Policy

2011-08-28T07:39:00.002+12:00

In this last week or so I've been questioning the real intent behind the real names policy of Google+.

They've stated it's to remove trolls. But then, when a profile has been reported for trolling, and said profile is still there several days later.... You do have to wonder.

And then, look at who has had to verify themselves. Every person I've heard of who has had to verify themselves has had in the multitudes of thousands followers. It's never the ones who just have a few hundred.

Trolls aren't really likely to have that many followers...

Andy Carvin, who is the senior strategist for National Public Radio (America), stated that Google CEO Eric Schmidt claimed that Google+ was built primarily as an "identity service". How very big brother'ish of them!

Okay so it's an identity service. That doesn't explain why reported profiles aren't blocked at all, and why people with thousands of followers have to verify themselves.

Remember, Google oddly made that tagline of "Don't do evil" disappear though we all still remember it...

What's really interesting is that I don't have to speculate. The conclusions are bad enough. Google aren't acting in our best interests - don't kid yourselves. It's not about trolls. It's not about our cyber-safety. It's an identity service. For who? Are we talking about single sign on? Then why not sell it as such rather than a social networking pretence?

This is all a touch upsetting. A protest where I'm happy to leave is kind of less of a protest. Ah well.

It'd be interesting what would happen if you tried to do this in real life. Have people run around collecting details and letting you get into places so long as you've connected up with that service... If a person with a clipboard stood there taking your details and tell you about how easy this would make life, would you do it? Why are we so happy to do it online?

My (Nevyn's) Flirtation with Social Networking

2011-08-23T23:14:00.004+12:00

Anyone who's followed my posts for a while knows that:

My spelling is sometimes atrocious (Thanks Félix for pointing that out - you missed the fact that my grammar turns to crap when I get excited).
I don't consider social networking sites to be all that social.

Anyway, I joined up to google+ with a mind to test my own assumptions. Could a social networking site be social? I still maintain sitting behind your computer is not social.

However, I think I did a damn good job of it. I'm sitting here tonight watching a conversation about languages, their roots, ways of grouping them followed up with offers of help to teach each other. Brilliant!

And I've met some amazingly cool people. The flirtatious reminding me that I'm great. The thought provoking. The people I can have a laugh with (often in politically incorrect ways). The damaged, proving that I'm not alone in my anxieties.

I declared myself a minor online New Zealand celebrity and ended up on a couple of lists - one which listed me as one of the most social people on Google+, another which was just way too easy to mess with (I've since been blocked from having my profile ranked on that one).

In fact, I've gotten home and jumped on the net to see what's been going on. I joined a couple of hangouts - video chatting with a group of people essentially. I switched off during a couple of meetings to check my "streams".

But then there's been this whole thing about Google requiring real names.

Are we even on the same Internet? They've been claiming that anonymity causes people to misbehave. Just as the non-religious are, by their very nature, immoral...

When I was 18 I found myself reading a bunch of books by Katherine Kerr. I'd read Palace first, loved her style - particularly character development - and went looking for more. I found the name Nevyn, meaning "No One". The character had this great irony to him. Despite being named no one, he put himself in places of importance, as a servant of sorts. Given my depression, I found myself really liking the name, and so took it as my own. The irony of it all grew on me, until, I think, I'm a lot like that character in a lot of ways.

I'm about to turn 32 and everyone (except perhaps family) knows me as Nevyn. And I credit a lot of my personal development to the fact that I could take another name, make it my own and be the person I wanted to be rather than the one I felt I had to be.

Under the Google rules I can use the name "Nevyn" as it's what I'm known as - in meat space as well as on the Internet.

But... It became my name. It wasn't my name. It wasn't the name I was given. It was a name I took and made my own.

Which makes me question - can I really be on Google+ without being a hypocrite?

Essentially I'd be condoning Google's policy when I can see where the benefits lie. The abused wanting to find a way to interact with the world without fear. The searchers trying to find something of themselves. The social commentators trying to keep something of themselves isolated from their day to day lives (for example, how closely are {single male primary school} teachers scrutinized?). I'm sure this list can go on and on.

By Google's stance though, it isn't hard to conclude that the Internet too is a bad place. It's full of trolls and cyberbullies, scams and "offers" for Viagra and things to make parts of me bigger. Our kids are in danger of tripping up over porn. And did you know that there are stalkers on the net as well*? It's a nasty place. It's full of all of this bad stuff and let's just ignore the fact that there are loads of benefits.

So I've seen friends being kicked off Google+ - actually meeting their conditions - but not able to prove it to Google's satisfaction. And I've seen some be able to prove it. Some who've been forced to change the name they've been using (the omission of an "awesome" in one). Violet Blue, who's always been fairly controversial got kicked. At least one left, in formal protest of this policy. In fact, he's what had me thinking hard about the policy and why I can't condone it in any way whatsoever.

So, in formal protest, I'm leaving Google+ (On the 30th of August to give myself time to let my protest be heard on G+ - Also, my birthday...). It might not be forever. If Google ever change this policy I might go back (Look - I'm not even saying they have to apologise for it or admit they *insert expletive here*ed it up). I've seriously enjoyed the experience. It's been a blast. My sarcasm has known no bounds. My empathy and logic and lecturing tone have all been satisfied and I've met some seriously cool names on the screen. Bye bye cruel Google+ world. I hope one day you see the error of your ways and ... in the words of Baillie .... stop being dicks.

* Google probably being the worst....

Another Contributor

2011-08-16T03:50:00.000+12:00

I couldn't help myself.

After seeing a well thought out rant on Google+, and having followed him for the last few weeks, I've invited Félix to contribute to this blog.

There's a couple of reasons for this:

It'd be great to foster new and interesting relationships outside of Google+.
I loved his rant - an interesting comparison between the anti-cheating measures taken in secondary and tertiary education.
This blog could probably do with a bit more content.

And guidelines? I've never really thought about it before. The only guideline I could think of was a disclaimer at the beginning of any posts that aren't children friendly...

So welcome Félix...

Baillie's Awesomeness

2011-08-08T20:03:00.002+12:00

I'm currently on the phone to Baillie and she just showed me what she's been doing.....
http://badnewspuns.tumblr.com/

I thought it kind of deserved it's own post given that it seems in the spirit in which this blog was started...

Pens, Pencils, Refill, Book bag... and an iPad?

2011-07-19T17:40:00.001+12:00

Unless you have a five-year old about to start school, the yearly shop for school stationery usually happen post-Christmas, after we've all spent our money on presents. (Unfortunately for our household, it also coincides with TWO birthdays*) I was a bit shocked to find that this year Sam's list cost me almost $100. Part of this list cost included "shared" items for the class, such as whiteboard markers and Jovi's (crayons, for the uninitiated), but fortunately, unlike the Year 9's of Orewa College next year, I won't have to buy an iPad.

Or if you bother to read the rest of the article (unlike the radio networks who can only read the first line of news items), it also states a laptop, net book or tablet PC will do. It appears the main issue parents have, is with the affordability of the technology. I'm not going to argue that a computer is non-essential equipment for school. It should be obvious enough that we're living in an electronic age, and children are being exposed to digital devices at an earlier age than ever (I say this as I wipe the toddlers fingerprints off my computer screen, and while the 6 year old is off playing Peggle on the xbox).

The first year of high school is hideously expensive as it is, when the cost of a new uniform alone can be upwards of $300 not to mention fees (or if you like your compulsory "donation") which, usually run in the hundreds. And this is if you go to a "free" state school. This is not helped by Orewa College's status as a decile 8 school. A high rating means that they are entitled to less funding. It's an unfortunate catch-22.

It appears that the main problem, though, was a lack of communication between school and home. With consultation, the school could have lessened the resulting parental outrage, and perhaps they would have then offered their support and input to find a way to fill the funding gap.

*One of them being mine

The Great Boycott

2011-07-14T23:03:00.000+12:00

This post is far too close to Baillies... But sod it. It kind of needs discussion.

It turns out DB have won their defence of the trademarked "Radler". A search on the net shows this to be a rather generic term though I was surprised to see that, while the word itself means "cyclist", the term, when applied to beer essentially means shandy.

That is, a beer that's mixed with a soft drink.

So there are loads of calls for a boycott.

It's interesting to note that this is quite likely to effect a bunch of businesses. I don't often choose my pubs based upon the beer they serve. I'm more likely to go for the ambiance of a place. I do dread DB pubs to some extent. I miss a good cider or the comfort of a Guinness and Macs Gold isn't completely awful.

In saying that though, I don't avoid DB pubs. There are often reasons for going there. A Monteith's Pilsner goes down well with me. Really well. If it's on offer, I'm happy. The DB pub I do occasionally stop by does jugs. Now I know jugs tend to get a bad rap. They're a very social drink though. See how quickly you end up with a table full of people sharing in a jug or three and soon after a bowl of fries will appear. None of the uncomfortable feeling that you're about to get stung when it's your round.

Given that I'm an open source sort of guy and will make compromises for what I feel is moral and right, I'm quite willing to boycott that pub and any others which are DB pubs. So that means I'll be avoiding (Actually.... this is probably a pretty good start of a list):

Those are the ones I could find online.

If you have more to add (Auckland only or otherwise the list would be insane), leave a comment and I'll add them to the list. Remembering that even if you don't drink DB products, the best way to show your disgust is to hit DB in the pockets (Yay capitalism?) - or, in the case of most of these pubs, a partner of DB (Barworks).

I'm a Hufflepuff!

2011-07-14T20:07:00.001+12:00

My husband has been urging me to write an update for this blog for ages. Like, seriously darling? You don't get enough of my incoherant ramblings at home?

In case you have been living under a rock, in a cave, or perhaps far away on a desert island, with only a volleyball for company it is common knowledge that It All Ends today. Well, that's NZ time anyway, I'm discounting the world premieres that have already taken place. And that the book was released way back in 2007. Anyway the fact is, it is the finale of the most important movie series of my generation (with apologies to Messrs. Spielberg, Lucas & Jackson).

As such, most of the blogs I visit (as well as the rest of the internet) have had Potter-related articles/video clips scattered through them. Including this one:

via The Mary Sue

In the grand scheme of the wizarding world, the poor old Hufflepuffs are forever doomed to be “the others”, consigned to the background in photos, forever runners-up. Unless they die.*

I feel the need to defend them though, (and I swear it has nothing to do with the results of this quiz), and really, while they may not be brave like a Gryffindor, cunning like a Slytherin or a bunch of nerdy swots like Ravenclaw. Hufflepuffs are shown to be diligent, reliable and imbued with a sense of fairplay. Yes, I know they are not exactly the most exciting qualities, but they're ones we should all hope to posess.

Thanks J.K. Rowling. The journey has been magical.

*you know, the chick who could change her hair colour, and the sparkly vampire.

Not Doing Enough

2011-07-14T20:02:00.000+12:00

Labour today finally released the details of their capital gains tax.

They don't go far enough. Capital gain tax would only be 15%. Think about this a second. If your primary home was exempt (the wording around this has been, to me, quite ambiguous, so I mention it here as a qualifier), then what we're talking about is pure profit. The qualifier is needed as when you've sold your home, you still need to buy another one right?

These are large investments with high returns. I would love to see a capital gains tax based upon the current tax system. The more the gain, the more the tax. It really wouldn't be hard to figure out an annual figure on an investment.

Imagine that.... loads of people paying, probably smaller amounts, of tax based upon their income.... weird.

Google Plus

2011-07-09T23:13:00.000+12:00

I know I've said previously that I don't like social networking. It's true. I don't. For the most part, I just don't get it. I don't understand the hype or the enthusiasm people show towards it. I want the word social back - as far as I'm concerned it never means sitting behind my computer.

Actually... that's not strictly true. In the good old days when I first got a computer (or at least, an IBM compatible - before that I had an Amstrad and before that an ancient TRS-80 based laptop thing) my friends and I would all get our computers into the same room and network the machines together and play games. We'd be behind our computers but we'd be talking to each other.

Anyway, the short of it is, I finally gave in to the Google Plus hype. People kept sending me invitations and registrations were open. What I wasn't expecting was what I saw when I got there.

The only content I seem to be able to find is a bunch of tacky advertising for Google Plus. Confirmation that it's better than Facebook. The question though... How? The chat function is exactly like what you'd get in GMail. Sending a private message is something you'd have to look up in order to figure out. The "home" page is much like having an rss feed into people's blog. There's no development community such as that which came up with Farmville and other value add features.

Not that I'm saying that Facebook is good. It's just, if you're going to claim something is better than something else.... should you not quantify that claim? Remembering that Google attempted social networking previously, are they banking on hype now?

I want a t-shirt. "I'm a first generation Google+ user and all I found was unsubstantiated claims".

What are we really afraid of?

2011-07-09T12:37:00.001+12:00

Please note: This post is definitely not suitable for a younger audience. I'm not going to demand you stop reading here if you're fairly young as that never works. But I have warned you.... I would really rather you didn't.

I went to Nethui a couple of weeks ago. Brilliant! It was a conference where the technical side of things took a back seat to more social issues. I attended a lot of the digital citizenry and education streams and while some discussions were a lot better than others, I started asking myself, "What are we really afraid of?"

For example, the number of female teachers compared to male teachers is phenomenal. Looking at this site (found after a 2 second Google search), male teachers within elementary and middle schools (that's primary and intermediate in New Zealand) for 2010, is only 18.2%. The trend is that these teachers tend to start off older than their female counterparts. There's a lot of consideration that a male goes through when choosing this occupation.

What is our number one fear for our kids on the Internet? It seems that it's the fear that our kids may meet deviants. Never mind the psychological effects of cyber-bullying/cyber-stalking that may lead to lowered self esteem and it's associated problems.

There are differences between bullying and cyber-bullying. Mostly in terms of scope. At the Nethui, someone came up with an excellent point. In short, the net can make anyone a bully. In my day, it was the scary big guys or the popular kids that tended to pick on me (yes, I'm a result of almost constant bullying as a kid).

We kind of have an inkling in the back of our heads that New Zealand's suicide rates are horribly high. The media can't report on this. An interesting consequence that I've seen is that this information is underground. Bring on the rumour mill.

What I have to wonder is, given that we seem to be trying to protect people from the very idea of suicide, are we doing enough to prevent it? Would talking about this not be better? I remember as an 11 year old being shown animations about puberty. Things like "You're suddenly going to have hair where there was no hair". What we seem to fail to do is to say to people "This is a time in your life where your brain and thinking change significantly and there's some dangers in that. Things like depression, moodiness, confusion etc. We're happy to talk to you if you need it". As for my own experience, I still tend to try and work things out on my own. I'm sure life would have been much easier had I sought out help.

I always get a sense of fear whenever I'm trying to get something done and people keep trying to sell me stuff. National Bank, for example, when I opened my account tried to sell me KiwiSaver, life insurance, home and contents insurance etc. I know, this isn't really anything to fear. The problem is, when I get home, there's often a phone call asking if I would like to participate in a survey or buy something. When I enquired about a particular qualification from seek learning I got back an email that looked almost exactly like an infomercial had puked up on a computer and sent me the results. My life is being eaten up a sales pitch or a survey or an advertisement at a time.

The media are currently on a big campaign against those legal drugs sold at a dairy near you! Never mind the fact that they've also sold cigarettes for as long as I can remember. Actually... without cigarettes, I'm almost certain a load of local corner dairies would just disappear. I think this is a concern. I think there are some bigger concerns that the media is ignoring. It is no surprise that this stuff sells. There's a demand for it. Is there space to be working with these manufacturers/distributiors to sate that appetite in a safe responsible way? Age restrictions being regulated (rather than volunteered and not enforcible by law), perhaps you'd have kind of a speak easy set up - eg. you may only spark up in designated areas. You may not buy this crap over the counter...

What this highlights to me though is the power the media has. What we seem to be afraid of is what the media wants to highlight. And what the media wants to highlight is what sells, rather than what we really should be afraid of. Wouldn't it be really good if the media had to declare a scope on issues? The amount of legal drugs sold vs. the amount of illegal drugs seized and estimated rate of capture. The number of people meeting dodgy people online vs. the rates of other distressing experiences on the net compared to the likelihood of meeting dodgy people in "meat space".

Of course... ignorance is bliss.

The Farce that is Auckland City Public Transport

2011-06-14T18:58:00.001+12:00

Have you ever tried to catch a bus in Auckland?

The whole process leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

For starters, there's trying to find information. Go to maxx.co.nz and try and figure out where a particular bus route goes... And those that don't really fit nicely into a particular region (such as the 007 which, if I understand it correctly, goes between St. Lukes and Sacred Heart College) are impossible to find. You can't search via bus route. No, that would be too easy. And hell, wouldn't it be nice if you could see where the stages started and ended? Miss Bird got mugged at one stage because bus drivers kept telling her the stage end was one stop earlier than the sign that said "Stage End".

Add to that the monstrosity that's Hop.

If you look here, you'll see that stage 2 involves upgrading your Hop card. Brilliant! Way to manage a transition! It was bad enough that transitioning to the Hop card involved 3 or 4 different dates and people stranded on bus stops as some buses had upgraded (even when that region wasn't due to be transitioned for another week or so) while others hadn't.

And then there's the functionality.

The new touch screen machines in front of the bus drivers have a few problems. You'll notice they press the screen 4 times for a single ticket. One to go back a screen, one to say "Adult" or "Child" fare, one for the number of stages and one to actually print out the ticket. Rather than the more sensible approach of allowing the driver to change one or two fields (i.e. change the number of stages), the driver is forced to go back a screen and start from scratch.

I've heard a few drivers complain that the screen is far too bright for evening driving. It's distracting, causes some glare on the window and hurts the eyes. Surely a dimmer wouldn't have been too hard.

I got charged a penalty today. I have no idea how it happened as I ALWAYS swipe on and off again. Always. I've been quite anal about it. However, there's a couple of possibilities.

If you're going to the end of a route, and the bus driver presses buttons before you swipe off, there's the chance that you're unable to swipe off. I suspect this is what happened to me as when I did swipe off yesterday, it showed 0.00.
If when you swipe off, you miss the short beep (as opposed to the talking machine when you swipe on) but assume you heard it, then once again you're open to a penalty.

There is no information about how much you may be paying in penalties. How it's worked out or if it's a consistent price or anything.

Then you've got the monthly passes - broken up by zone. I went to buy one. $200. It turns out though, you can only buy them at the beginning of the month. Heaven forbid you might want to buy one half way through the month...

Given that Auckland suffers from some quite serious traffic problems, you'd think they could get this sorted. Provide easy to find, relevant, convenient information. Think about the drivers and different conditions in which they drive in. Make sensible choices for transitioning. And again... information, information, information.

It's no wonder that Aucklander's don't have a positive reaction to public transport...

And We're Back...

2011-06-10T18:11:00.001+12:00

At school today one of the kids commented that I hadn't written on my blog for a while.

I do wonder about the appropriateness of this blog on young minds and the entertainment level. Still, if I'm going to put it out to the world, that's what I get.

Anyway... so what's been going on for the last few weeks... I met some awesome American's. It was interesting watching the cultural differences. Cultural differences you ask?

Take what we know of American culture, the most prominent presence in New Zealand being fast (psuedo) food outlets. Think about the size of a drink from Wendy's. It's huge! A medium is what we would consider a large and completely un-necessary. That's an awful lot of sugar and corn syrup and other such empty calories. So what happens if you don't want to drink all of it? You throw it away...

But isn't that awfully wasteful? I was talking to a woman who had taken her kids to America. They had tried to order a kids meal - which just didn't exist. So she'd had to buy a full meal. The problem with this though, the kids had different tastes and so wouldn't eat the same meal. Thus, 2 full meals. Oh course, the portions were way out there and so she'd had to throw the excess food away. Cringe worthy if you ask me.

I would like to think that we have a different attitude to food here. You buy what you need and eat it all. We teach our kids to clear their plates. We say things like "there are other children out there starving in the world". We try to teach a level of appreciation for the amount we do have.

What effect does this have on American's in relation to New Zealanders? The differences are kind of subtle I think but you start to spot things. Little things. Interesting things. Things I'm not going to go into here.

Anyway, it turns out there'll be another group of American's next year. I've already started to write up a blanket apology for them to sign. Something that apologises for things like KFC, MacDonalds, Pizza Hutt, Starbucks, Gloria Jean's and the very concept of shopping malls.

I'm just coming out of a bout of depression. This one was interesting. I discovered that my self esteem doesn't exist. I was incredibly happy about this. It means I've got something to work on and I've identified what it is. To that end, I'm getting myself out of my comfort zone and singing a song up at the pub tonight with an Irish band.

That happiness was counteracted by uncertainty. A five letter word - "maybe". Add to that a five month wait to maybe resolve that uncertainty. Not terribly happy. And it could have all been solved with a little communication. Woman are ... confusing. Go on Baillie - tell me otherwise.

I think that says it all really.

I've seen a spark. One of the kids is horribly eager to learn a little programming. Bring on the flow charts! In fact, this week I found myself working with a few kids. I gave one who lacked enthusiasm in the library a book. Another I got doing some work for me and finally started to hammer in the idea of patterns in maths (i.e. rote learning 10x10 is no good if you can't spot that fact that multiplying by 10 just adds a zero to the end of the number). Next I'm thinking strategies to figure out problems.

So enough of this rather general post. I'll get onto some more in depth rambles soon. Just watch this space...

Drafts and a lack of posts

2011-05-25T11:54:00.000+12:00

I just thought I'd write a quick post explaining why there haven't been any posts...

Baillie's computer died on her and she's been busy - DIY hell. She's actually got the start of a few posts... they just haven't eventuated yet.

And as for me? I'm..... sorting some things out. I've got a few draft posts as well .... soon... something will happen soon.

Consuming Media

2011-05-10T14:52:00.002+12:00

No this isn't a post on Jeremy Wells. Rather, it's once again, sort of, about the copyright bill passed by parliament. I've been ranting and raving about it for a little while.

A friend asked why we don't just make our own media. And it occurs to me, we've been doing this for years.

Back in the good old days I'd get together with friends around a table. We'd eat, but more importantly, we'd play out scenarios. Not in a "get up and act it out" sort of a way, but more in a "what if" sort of way. Much like watching the comedians on 7 days. We teach our kids to do the same sort of thing. It doesn't always lead to mental images of fat Elvis in a spandex jump suit scoffing down deep fried peanut butter burgers.... but it could.

For some strange reason, we grow up, we get involved with work and at some point consuming media becomes this really expensive antisocial sort of activity where you're sitting together in a cinema in the dark not talking to each other.

Personally I don't find myself going to the cinema a lot these days. That's mainly to do with the fact that I find more value in the coffee/dinner before/after the movie with friends. Otherwise, I can wait for the DVD. And given that people simply don't have time any more (I love it when people say they don't have time. They've got just as much time as they've ever had. It's just that they chose to make time for certain things and not so much for others), it's hard finding someone to go to the movies with.

Just last year a friend and I would have a couple of drinks and then sit there thinking about t-shirt ideas. I always liked the idea of something crude but subtle. So something that could be mistaken for just a really cool design until it was given a little bit of context.

After that it was the passing around of multiple bits of paper. Everyone would write a bit of a story and it'd be strung together. It was sort of a literary kind of theatre sports as bits would be taken out of context or bad puns suddenly turned into the funniest joke ever. You would never take the resulting "story" and base a play around it as it was always about the process rather than the end result.

Remembering that laughter is a very social thing. The way we laugh in private is usually quite different to how we laugh individually. I don't enjoy some comedies on my own. The more silly ones. They're very much a social thing to me. The question then becomes, are we really enjoying the media we are consuming? If laughter is social, but sitting down and watching a movie together isn't so much, then have we, in some way, gotten this all wrong?

In which case, is the power that we've essentially given rights holders misplaced?

How many of us want to be a little more creative? What if, instead of consuming media, we did, as that friend suggested, and made our own? I'm not talking about making great pieces of art and sharing it with the world - though the technology's there. What I'm talking about is doing something for yourself, or for friends. Writing something. Taking the time to pick up a pencil and draw something. How about making some music? Can't play an instrument? How about learning? Or singing? This is hardly a new concept.

"Be Kind, Rewind" is a film about this sort of thing. A couple of video store attendants erasing a bunch of video tapes (every tape in the store) and, in order to avoid being found out, replace them with movies they shoot themselves. At the end of the movie they're being closed down due to infringing copyright. The interesting thing though - their last film, they make it themselves. It's a kind of mockumentary which the whole neighbourhood gets involved in.

It's a feel good movie. You leave it thinking about how nice it is that a whole community made something. What is really interesting though is that none of us seem to take what's probably a really good lesson from it. The creation, rather than the consumption, of media is so much more valuable. Perhaps not in monetary terms, but think about the social aspect of it. And hell, when you're working on something, the sense of accomplishment.

With that in mind, I decided to have a play and came up with this - not yet complete. I know it's not fantastic but there is a certain sense of accomplishment to it. I've chucked in the original image (below). The funny bit though - I'm quite likely infringing copyright. It's a derivative work. Bummer.

Let this blatant copyright infringement to be a commentary on the ridiculous powers we've given them.

Oh - and just a little special thanks to Zarek who got me thinking about perhaps doing something kind of arty again.

Missing The Point

2011-05-08T12:09:00.003+12:00

There was some interesting buzz about this great little project. Basically a really small, really cheap computer.

It seems though, people are missing the point of this project. It's not replace the XO's of the OLPC project. In fact, it quite specifically says in the article linked that the project is a reaction to there not being enough technology education around computers and instead, skills such as word processing are taught.

But the buzz I keep hearing from people is that the costs would soon mount up once you start adding in a monitor and the cost of a keyboard and usb hub etc. And how is it supposed to help people of developing nations?

It's all a matter of scope. That's not the market they're targeting. Let's put this into context. The project assumes users will have a TV or computer monitor with HDMI input. That users will have a ready power supply. It would be a bit like trying to use a spoon as a fork. It's not designed as a replacement to the XO and sure, potentially it could be used with a bit of hacking, but then, how many people see a spoon and figure out how they can turn it into a fork? And once they do, is it a horribly compromised fork? i.e. a spork. It still isn't really built for purpose...

I do have to wonder if it's scope is all that realistic. The number of people actually interested in getting to the guts of their computers is fairly minimal. It's a bit like offering an electronics class. If you only end up with 7 students out of 500, is that really a good use of a school's resources? If the goal is to encourage the uptake of things like programming, then a really simple to use flowchart application, along the same lines as Freemind would probably do more.

I know loads of people disagree with me about the best way to learn programming. Personally, I think it should be taken away from the computer/any particular language. Learn the logic first. Here's a flowchart for the logic. Now I want to use this same bit all over the place. Suddenly you have functions. While we're at it, why don't we learn what binary is? Getting people into a line either standing or sitting to represent different values. I know there was a guy at... kiwifoo? I was told... who was advocating this very same sort of thing.

Is the scope for this computer completely wrong? I think it misses the point of the stated aim and is quite probably going to be a very cool niche device for computer enthusiasts everywhere. As for it's educational value? I'm just not really seeing it.

And then you have to wonder about things like QR codes.

Data contained within this QR code: "This data could be made
human readable but for some strange reason we want to create
this odd barrier to entry by putting information into a strange
non-human readable format."

I can't see a suitable scope for them. They create this really odd barrier to entry. Rather than just being able to read the information, users must have the technology in order to take a picture and decode it. Is this a reinforcement of a class system?

The question is, what is the scope of this technology? Does it have any real practical application or is this one of those "if we create it, people will figure out what to do with it" sort of things? The wikipedia article on QR codes claim that uptake is fairly strong in Korea and Japan.

Meanwhile, I can't help but think that this is contrary to current trends in computing. We tend to store a lot of data in a human readable format called XML.I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere. Something along the lines of take XML and define how to decode QR codes and then encrypt it in a QR code.

Could it be that the technology was only really supposed to expand the humble Bar Code? Rather than having a number which is then linked to an entry in a database (UPC's, the bar codes you find on consumer goods, have a standard format. A certain number of digits for the manufacturer for example)? In which case, is it's use for encoding URL's or text completely unintentional and taken by those who don't quite understand what the technology is for?

It's this sort of thing that's a serious danger to just about every programming effort out there. At one stage I was programming a time sheet. But then, the time sheets were then being printed out and the information typed back into the computer. So I had to make something to put the information into the format the "system" wanted. Except that the system was the boss's mum. And at some stage, that same information, after vetting from the bosses mum, then got input somewhere else - again, printed and put in manually. A 3 month job turned into a 18 month job.

No one was happy. I wasn't happy as I had quoted horribly cheap rates given that it was just a little project to fill in some time - 3 months rather than what turned out to be 18 months on the same sort of wages you would expect to pay someone at MacDonalds. The client wasn't happy - the system still wasn't working brilliantly. The main factor here being that all of this was being built on top of MS Excel. They weren't willing to go to through the expense of having a database application built. I'm seen as a bit of a prat because it's not working great (I still have to go in occasionally to maintain it). But then, the scope was never fully explored and rather than a development path being chosen on what was sustainable, the development path was chosen solely on what they were already using.

During our efforts in getting a Creative Space in Auckland started, one of our members kept going on about VOIP. Rather than getting the space up and running this one member's emphasis was all on getting a website and a bunch of wizz banginess set up. Never mind the fact that at that stage there wasn't actually a space. There is the fact that member is still involved where as I pulled away from Tangleball a long time ago.

This sort of thing could be seen sort of like a rot for projects. Asking the right questions at the beginning of a project - things like "What are we trying to achieve?", "How can we achieve it?", "Are we creating barriers with the way we're trying to approach things?", "Is this sustainable?", "Are we trying to shoehorn the new into the old and what is the risk/benefits or doing so?", and "Does the cost outweigh the benefit?" - is absolutely essential. And it wouldn't hurt to go through these questions several times over the life of a project.

You see this rot on just about every project and it's really hard trying to warn people about it. It's one of those things that's hard to define. Either people are so entrenched in their positions, or are involved with someone who is entrenched (think legacy providers), that they refuse to see a problem at all or the issue hasn't reared it's ugly head and the full cost hasn't yet been realised.

In terms of cost, that should be seen as a cost to time, monetary, morale of those involved in the project etc. While it might not have a huge effect at the top of a project, the people in the trenches may be struggling. All because the scope is either shifting or just hasn't been defined.

Representation

2011-05-01T11:00:00.000+12:00

I find myself wondering what ever happened to the system of government in New Zealand. While there's no clear definition (none that satisfies me as a political system at least) of the term "Democracy", it seems to be that we vote (or should vote) for those who we think best represents us and our interests.

In times gone by, there was just Labour and National and it wasn't until the 1970's that people wanted change. So in 1996 the first MMP election was held. It only took 20 odd years to get some change...

MMP promised us better representation of smaller parties in government.

MMP allows us to vote for the party we think best represents us and, independently, a person in our area who we think best represents our interests. So we go out in droves and vote. Only - the people we vote to represent us don't actually represent us. Their votes for laws and the like are their party's line. It's not necessarily the opinion or values of that particular member.

And the party vote? As soon as the election is over, there's a mad scramble to form two coalitions.

Whoa there! That's not what we voted for is it? We voted for that party to represent us and our interests. Not to get to parliament, trade away those same values that they were voted in on, so that they can represent a coalition partner.

This is a hypocrisy like the whole "Leader of the Free World" thing.

If America is the leader of the free world and the U.S. president usually gets that title slapped on them. But then, if the U.S. President was the leader of the free world, by it's very definition, the U.S. sees itself as "The Free World" as others around the world who consider themselves members of the free world don't get a vote. This does need to be acknowledged. American's may worry about America when electing their President. The rest of the world worries about the rest of the world when the American elections are being held. This means America's electoral system needs to become a whole lot better.

So somewhere in between us voting and those voted representatives getting to parliament, something happens. They represent their party and then that party represents a coalition. I remember my frustration in 1996 watching the news about all of scrambling around forming coalitions. Isn't the whole point of MMP to allow those smaller parties to get into parliament and represent those issues that are important to those who voted them in?

After the last election I went looking for oaths that members of parliament swear to. I was convinced that there must be something about representing those who voted them in or the people of New Zealand. There is no such oath. The only oath seems to be to the Queen.

So members of parliament don't actually have to represent us but we vote for them as if they're going to represent us and in reality they represent their party which ultimately represents a coalition. This is suddenly sounding like First Past the Post. A system whereby the dominance of a bi-party system is reinforced. Take a step back, change the word "coalition" to "party" and all you have is a two party system again.

Is it time to start kicking up a fuss? If we start now, in 20 odd years time we might see some change.

And what should that change look like? I think the government needs a party that represents New Zealanders.

Rather than trusting that the elected member of parliament has any clue about what the people in New Zealand want or need, those voted members vote only after the New Zealand public are allowed some discussion.

Why do we have elected officials to make decisions on our behalf? Because if you had to get the opinion of every stakeholder (the people of New Zealand) you'd never make any changes. If only we had the technology to do a highly parallel collection of votes and discussion medium where the data could be collected in one point and have it all happen within a matter of days...

Yes - I'm proposing we use technology to let our voices be heard. Those who are interested can read up and lodge a vote. I've been asked what about those without computers? I have to ask - how much does a computer cost? Hone Harawira's by-election is going to cost $500,000 which could be saved if he chose to wait 6 months. With $500,000, how many computers do you think could be brought and powered for a year? Would we really object to computers being put all over New Zealand if it meant the people of New Zealand could have their voices heard?

And that's a fraction of the price! Hone Harawira is framing his decision to hold a by-election as the cost for democracy - again... 6 months. And that's the cost of democracy for the Maori electorate of Te Tai Tokerau - 1 of 7 Maori electorates in New Zealand. I can't seem to find any figures on how big the Maori electoral roll is but in 2008, only 55% of those registered on this roll voted. It would be my guess that the figure would be quite a small fraction of our 4.4 million (rounded figure from an estimate on wikipedia) people.

I don't think we'd achieve anything at this stage by trying to replace all of government with an online system, but a voted in party which declared itself independent and only represented collected opinions and votes would open the door for people getting involved in politics. In fact, if the party split itself as best it could based on the figures of their votes, then that party's representation in parliament would be a balanced one.