Sunday, January 12, 2014

Because I'm an Introvert

Something really bothers me about people who talk about being introverts. I hate it. It's stupid. Things like "I'm not shy, I'm an introvert" or "I don't like small talk because I'm an introvert"...

Being an introvert is not a reason. Stop using it as one.

For me - I hate small talk. I can't stand it. It drives me nuts. I hate someone saying to me "'sup" because it's taken small talk and made it even worse. The problem? It's pre-scripted stuff - I needn't be a part of it at all. Someone else could read my part. I hate it when I'm spouting off something that I've said a thousand times before to the same question.... i.e. how're you doing?. What's the point?!

It's not because I'm an introvert. It's because I hate feeling mechanical. I'd much rather you were after an actual response. I like talking to people. I hate small talk... Yes, I come across as snobby or antisocial at times... Particularly at family events where it's ALL small talk.

I like small gatherings because I hate feeling like I'm ignoring people. And I hate feeling like I'm in a room full of people and no one's noticing me. It's like being invisible. I don't like feeling invisible... And even worse, big gatherings normally lead to small talk. Blargh! Horrible!

Take responsibility for your awkwardness. You're not awkward because you're an introvert. You're an introvert because you're awkward. Moan all you want about people wanting to change you - that's about as bad as you wanting everyone to change for you...
What does all of this mean? I have to challenge myself - because it's about my own feelings rather than the people around me - to do things that make me feel uncomfortable. That means I will occasionally go to a party knowing that I'm going to find myself sitting in a corner desperate for someone to talk to me about something other than the weather. Or I'll do public speaking if I absolutely must (just don't ask me to prepare something. A speech will be written - but I stress over things like slides. I'd rather not have them. If you insist on them, just put up some horrible generic thing as a background....). I will conduct in small talk but know that if I'm feeling mechanical, I'm much more likely to want to get away from the situation.

This is not because I'm an introvert. I exhibit introverted behaviour because of these things...

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