Monday, January 9, 2012

Still in a Funk

I'm still in a hell of a funk. Kind of put a damper to my holiday. I wasn't my normal get up and help and make the best of every situation self. I'm sure there were at least a couple of times where Baillie just wanted to hit me. Today, my first day on the premises for work (truth be told I'll probably only ever be there during school holidays), I found myself distracted and restless by 2pm.

The day started out a little strangely too. One of the, what I would refer to as, "long beards" was driving a bus. It was odd being able to great the bus driver by first name. What I mean by long beard is those guys who have been in the computer industry for years and years. They know things about computers that I couldn't dream of comprehending.

And of course, all of us computer people know that this happens.

If you couldn't do what you do now, what would you do?
Answer: Exactly I'm doing. I lack imagination.

Computer people always have some sense of an end game or they'd like to try something different. They'd like to meet different people. Be something else. I remember a time in my life where flipping burgers seemed more right though I hadn't quite gotten into computers at the time. I was talking to someone who was made redundant and when asking him who he'd contacted (he has a bit of a reputation in which case, it should be a trivial matter for him to get a job) he replied that he was looking around first to see if there was anything else he wanted to do.

It's the ones who love it who normally go looking. Computers have this really bad tendency to just kind of take over your life. For me, I suspect I make it take over my life as a form of avoidance. Escapism as bad as any drug. Whenever I find myself standing there sulking thinking to myself "What the fornication was all that about?!", I soon find myself exhibiting less than social behaviours and my head is soon buried in some computer monitor somewhere.

Life goes on but everything changes... of course... the more it changes, the more it stays the same.


  1. ahh.. the ennui of work after having time off.. its probably why i dont take time off unless i really have to. you wish to get back to work, but when you're there, you really dont want to be.

    This weather isnt helping. its hot and humid at times. must be time to pull out the bathing suits (bathing suit means tshirt and shorts :P)

  2. $400 odd to get me through the month ($150 is going to go just on transport). Add IRD to that equation and it just gets depressing.

    The holiday, admittedly, did get me just a little down - living vicariously through Baillie's family (The hug from Josh was huge). Still - I love catching up with them all at least once a year.

    There's the no smoking thing - trying to code without smoking. This means that I'm not taking the time out to just step away from the code.

    I didn't really want to get get back to work. I was doing some work during my holiday just because I realised I was never going to meet my deadlines if I didn't. Such are the joys of responsibilities.

    The weather is kind of depressing. It's not the same depressing as the dead of winter though i.e. that morning thought in the shower of "This is the warmest you're going to be all day". More, it's depressing in a "there's no people out in their summer clothes" sort of a way.

  3. Got to say... the office environment is quite depressing as well.... Fluorescent lights. Tasteful black curtains. Really does make the dullness outside look kind of appealing. Nothing quite like an office environment to make you feel like life is just passing you by.

  4. so add some colour to it. take in a pot plant. specially if you're gonna be in this office for any length of time. something colourful to pick you up during the day.

    and yes, bills can be depressing, but its a great feeling when you can cross one off your list as "paid in full" that feeling.

  5. This one's gonna take a while to pay off I think. Penalties for not doing the paperwork to say "I didn't earn anything". Yay IRD! I've since closed off that particular "leak". So once I pay this, I shouldn't have any more problems with them (famous last words).

    Not a big one for pot plants. Awful things...