Friday, January 13, 2012

Stalking...

Part of what's wrong with me at the moment is that I'm feeling like a stalker.

I've just been having a look at some old emails trying to figure out what I've missed and realised I said something about this last year - trying to attract someone's attention in increasingly pathetic ways (and feeling helpless to stop). Anyway, tinted windows makes me a bit of a voyeur. I'm finding myself gazing out the window with the excuse that I need to feel part of the outside world at large rather than in a walled off fish tank.

The truth - I feel ever increasingly cut off from the world at large. Between work and sleep and trying to get some sort of semblance of ... normality to my life, it just hasn't left anything for a life. This is always a huge problem for me. I have problems connecting with people.

I went to the pub last night as I saw a few familiar faces as I passed - it'd be rude not to stop by. While it was nice catching up with old friends, I realise just how ... different I always was from that lot. There were probably 2 or 3 people I genuinely liked hanging out with and they're all gone.

Well not all gone... there's one left. Of course, that just leaves me feeling like a stalker...

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