I've been horribly self absorbed. I'm thinking about the past. What did I miss? How could things have been different? Why are things the way they are now?
The most frustrating bit about it is that I realise just how much of an idiot I can be. I missed something... really big... Massive in fact. It was there, hitting me in the face and I just didn't realise. Actually.. it's more than that. I didn't let myself realise.
I was looking at my Chinese horoscope the other day. No, I don't take them seriously, but sometimes it's kind of fun. Anyway, I came across this. I can't fault it... At all.. it's so me.
"...these high-strung creatures need to feel loved and admired lest they start worrying incessantly."
"...the Sheep will often pull away - either physically or simply by retreating into the safe haven of its imagination."I've got to say though - it's a little discomforting, if I were to believe this is real, that my misery is preordained.
I'm not sure it's retreating exactly. It's dwelling. Dwelling in my imagination of what might have been. And worrying? I'm sure I'm one of the world's greatest worriers. So - if you're wondering how I'm doing or why I haven't really been writing about me in the blog... well... I've retreated.
Pizza and beer?