Sunday, November 20, 2011

Relating to People

I've had a sudden realisation.

While I'm working on getting some self esteem, I'm still not really relating to people. Quite often I'm making some joke about "not food" - i.e. KFC, McDonalds, Burger King etc. Or I'm criticizing people's choice in music (the silly thing is that I probably have the worst taste in music ever - 1920's show tunes, 1970's rock, Hayley Westernra etc.). The choice of television shows etc.

So while I've been peacocking (essentially looking great because I wanted to be noticed) all of last week and feeling great, I've also been a bit of a tool. My flatting experience has probably moved me away from being relatable - I have less in common with people. The lack of TV.

I never listen to the radio anymore due to the amount of advertising either - which means I'm often very behind in the latest music. I never go to the movies - mainly because I hate the idea of seeing a movie on my own. Being a geek further separates me. The word, while I own it - i.e. I find nothing offensive about it - does have some connotations. It's often used by other people to dismiss you or as an excuse to ignore anything you're saying because obviously geeks speak a different language. I had one case where as soon as they thought you were getting too technical, they'd make a white noise sound.

None of this is all that surprising really. A friend of mine noted that single people tend to .... I don't think she articulated it terribly well, but the gist of it was that there was a certain ... self centered quality to them. I think what she was really saying is that single people tend to lack the context which other's take for granted. So it's hardly surprising that I'm finding this all so very hard.

So I guess this is a bit of an appeal. Help me to be a better person. If I'm being a tool, call me up on it. If I am speaking a foreign language, then letting me know which bits you don't understand will only make me all that much better at speaking to people. In other words, don't use me being a geek as an excuse for my awkwardness.

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