Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Hi All,

Went out for coffee with a friend. We informed the media. We talked about the cost of coffee, the service and the size of our wallets. Things got a little heated when I realised he expected me to pay for half of his soy milk - $0.25 but it's the principal of the thing.

It turns out someone recorded our conversation. Weird. Nothing was said that I would hide from others. Given that the media were around it'd be a stupid time to say anything we didn't want others to hear.

I have no money. I thought the coffee was good but not nearly as good as the coffee at the coffee cart down by Britomart. Service wasn't nearly as good as we could have hoped but that's typical of New Zealand cafes.

Of course, the media have watched horror movies too. They know the unseen is far scarier than actually showing what's hunting down the stupid teenagers in the forest. None of our conversation has actually been revealed. I'm starting to doubt it was actually recorded.

Come to think of it... I did say a little something about the waitress. Looked great in black, about a third my age. Perhaps it's better if that recording doesn't get out.

Note to self: Don't tell the media when going to a cafe.

If you don't know what this post is all about... I'm rather pleased with how clever it is for reasons I'm not going to note. This is very much a New Zealand thing and probably only really relevant at this current time. Sorry if you're reading this sometime after I wrote it and am especially sorry if you're not living in New Zealand. Should've read it before I wrote it.

This is completely fictional. A waitress 1/3 my age would be a little over 10. I haven't had a chance to go out for coffee with a friend for a little while now. I'm not sure the media would be all that interested in me going out for a coffee. It's normally me who has the soy milk. About the only thing that's true about this post is the lack of money.


  1. Nice. And you are right, the coffee @ the little place outside Britomart does surprisingly good coffee!

  2. *lmao* You're the second person tonight to say that to me.

    For those not in the know - the people in the place outside Britomart has this uncanny ability to texture the milk and never split it perfectly. You can't help but walk away with cup in hand thinking "If Gods drunk coffee, this is the sort of coffee they'd drink".

    I'd rank it on par with Revel (on K' Road). Revel's coffee has just the slightest hint of jaffa about it. It's been about 6 months since I last had a coffee there though the last time it wasn't quite as light as the place outside of Britomart but still... Great coffee. Also, in a slightly less convenient position for me to go to.